Unbannable Pleasure Items

A new outdoor campaign from sex toys retailer Lovehoney that is explained by the brand thus:

Our research found that 41% of adults are using everyday objects in place of sex toys - not only do you deserve better, but their use could be genuinely dangerous. As an homage to these items that are definitely Not A Sex Toy, Lovehoney has created a series of billboards featuring the objects to serve as a warning, and a reminder that the real thing just hits different.

We've dubbed the billboards as the "Unbannable Ads" - because advertising guidelines restrict what they consider to be 'explicit content', we have been forced to get creative with the items on display, just like everyone who has used one of the below items had to.

The brand also quoted its sexual health expert offering this advice:

Sex toys are made using body-safe silicone or other safe materials, and go through rigorous and extensive testing to ensure that they are safe to use on your bodies. Unsurprisingly, household objects have not gone through this process, so you’re better off just using your hands if you don’t have a sex toy, and for the love of God don’t put anything up your bum that doesn’t have a flared base!

Marmite Smugglers

A fun spot for Marmite that one reviewer described thus:

Adopting the style of an investigative-style documentary, the ad completely nails the look and feel of that type of program. There are the blurred faces, the muffled voices and all the shocking twists and turns you would expect. If you’re from the UK, think along the lines of Channel 4’s Dispatches show.

What makes that utterly brilliant is just how unserious the whole thing is, but the gritty, pseudo-serious tone just adds to the hilarity. The absurdity of Marmite being contraband is so silly that it’s genius.

And for those who may want to actually experience what it feels like, Marmite is inviting Brits travelling to New York to “smuggle” a jar across.

Link to video

Tail Orchestra

Pedigree comes up with the idea of of an orchestra “conducted” by dogs’ tails, and creates a 10-track album.

Link to video

Geese Advisory

From Texas: following an incident in the city of Allen that involved geese being stolen from a local park, which were subsequently rescued, Allen Parks and Recreation issued a list of dos and don’ts for visitors that included this notable piece of advice:

DON’T: Point at geese and insult their upbringing

Divorce by Mistake

As reported by The Guardian:

A couple were divorced by mistake after solicitors at a leading law firm made a computer error but a senior judge has said it cannot be overturned.

The couple, referred to as Mr and Mrs Williams by the high court, were married for 21 years until they separated in 2023.

Solicitors at the London firm Vardags, headed by Ayesha Vardag, the self-styled “diva of divorce”, used an online portal to mistakenly apply for a final order for the couple, who were still attempting to agree financial arrangements for their split.

So what was the “computer error”?  To quote from the judgment:

The solicitors acting for the applicant, who had used the online divorce portal to apply for the final order, did so without the instruction or authority of their client, Mrs Williams. The solicitors have explained that the member of staff involved had intended to apply for a final order of divorce for another client, in a different divorce case, but inadvertently opened the electronic case file in ‘Williams v Williams’ and proceeded to apply for a final order in that case.

Going by the order, this led to a lot more confusion than the reports indicate.  Consider, for instance, this notable submission by the husband’s counsel:

For a number of months, the Husband had not known whether he was married or not.

Reality Check @ Vilnius

From Lithuania: a contender for one of the strangest tourism ads ever.  Go Vilnius —the agency tasked with promoting the capital city of Lithuania— has a history of quirky campaigns (see this and this) but its latest is on a whole new level altogether.

Link to video

The Last Drop

To quote from a report:

Heinz says it has moved “at the speed of culture” to create its latest ad in just five days, in a bid to capture the energy and dynamism of social media.

‘The Last Drop’ was inspired by a video, shared on social media, of a mother licking spilt ketchup off her baby to avoid wasting it.

Super

From France: CANAL+ reaffirms its commitment to short films with a 3 minute short packed with action movie tropes and a punchline for the ages.

Link to video (Alternative link)

Fired ‘inactive’ election candidate turns out to be dead

As reported by Politico Europe:

The right-wing political party set up by U.K. Brexiteer Nigel Farage has apologized after publicly firing one of its election candidates for being “inactive” — when the candidate had in fact died.

Reform UK admitted it didn’t realize that Tommy Cawkwell, its election candidate in York Central, had perished when he was sacked for lack of activity.

“We can’t afford to have people doing nothing in an election year,” a party spokesperson had told local news outlet the York Press.

But Cawkwell had actually died two months before.

Believe it or not, the report quoted the Reform UK spokesperson Gawain Towler as saying that he was “mortified” at the error.

Burglary Dump

From Canada: a police media release about the arrest of a burglar yesterday began with this notable piece of information:

A Guelph woman has been arrested following a weekend break-in during which a large bowel movement was left in the victims’ toilet.

The media release carried no further mention of that “large bowel movement” or how that had any bearing on their reporting.

80s McEnroe is back

The tennis star features as his younger self in a strange spot for forex broker Pepperstone.

Link to video

Bald Spots for Baldness Ads

I’ll let this campaign description explain:

Unilever’s Clear, the world best-selling male shampoo brand, has teamed up with creative agency MullenLowe Singapore to launch its latest campaign which encourages men to turn the tide against male pattern baldness through early intervention with its Clear Men Scalp Pro range.

Fittingly launched in Turkey, the hair transplant capital of the world, the daring Bald Spots campaign turns actual bald spots on men’s heads into unmissable out-of-home advertising spaces. Featuring a range of designs and messages contextualised to the severity and shape of individual bald spots, these mobile billboards were sent out to the streets and into locations popular with men, such as gyms, teahouses and malls. “It starts like this. Use Clear Men Scalp Pro.” reads a reminder set on a head with early stage balding, while another with severe, late-stage balding features a cheeky warning to “Give your hairline a lifeline. Use Clear Men Scalp Pro.”

Link to video

Chechnya Sets Legal Limits For Music Tempo

To quote from a news report:

Chechen authorities have ordered that all musical, vocal, and choreographic works performed in the Russian region must have a playback at between 80 and 116 beats per minute. Regional Culture Minister Musa Dadayev announced the restrictions on April 4, according to the official Grozny-Info news agency. It's unclear exactly how the restrictions will apply or would be enforced in the tightly controlled Muslim region, but Russian news outlet Meduza said the tempo of the Russian national anthem would be considered too slow under the restrictions, while most popular dance and hip-hop music would be considered too fast.

A Perfect Seven

The originally released commercial from Cathay Pacific for this year’s Hong Kong Sevens (it’s slightly different yet a lot better than the ‘full version’, released a few days ago).

Link to video

Sizzling @ 70

From Burger King’s anniversary campaign:

Arse or Elbow?

UK charity Prost8 has launched quite an eye-catching billboard campaign to clear up misconceptions about prostate tests.

For those who need to be sure, here’s a clarification posted on Instagram:

Well, despite what you may have first thought, these are elbows!

As part of our latest campaign, we want to raise awareness that a prostate check starts with a simple blood test taken from your arm. Many men avoid getting checked for prostate cancer as they think it starts with a finger up their bottom (DRE). While a DRE is important, most men will not need one if the PSA levels in their blood test are satisfactory.

If you are over the age of 50, you can ask your GP for a PSA test.

Share your elbow with the hashtag #arsefromelbow to help us spread the message. Yours may feature in one of our future posts

A Funeral Featuring the ‘Grim Reaper’

Excerpts from a BBC report:

A woman made her daughter and friend promise that the “Grim Reaper” would attend her funeral.

Sharon Taffs, from Maldon, Essex, died in December, aged 68, from breast cancer, and her funeral was held on 16 March.

Her daughter, Louise Miller, 49, from Witham, said her mother planned every part of the memorial, and when a friend joked that he would come dressed as the reaper, and would point to people saying “you're next”, she thought it was a hilarious idea.

Because of the planned joke, the family did pre-warn people and a few decided not to attend.

“If you research the Grim Reaper, he transports the soul to where it’s going, so he's not actually a bad person.

“It was a perfect service and it was exactly what she wanted,” Ms Miller added.

Prison Inmates File Suit Over Solar Eclipse Lockdown

To quote from a report out of New York:

Inmates in New York are suing the state corrections department over the decision to lock down prisons during next Monday’s total solar eclipse.

The suit, filed Friday in federal court in upstate New York, argues that the April 8 lockdown violates inmates’ constitutional rights to practice their faiths by preventing them from taking part in a religiously significant event.

The plaintiffs are six men with varying religious backgrounds who are incarcerated at the Woodbourne Correctional Facility in Woodbourne. They include a Baptist, a Muslim, a Seventh-Day Adventist and two practitioners of Santeria, as well as an atheist.

“A solar eclipse is a rare, natural phenomenon with great religious significance to many,” the complaint reads, noting that Bible passages describe an eclipse-like phenomenon during Jesus’ crucifixion while sacred Islamic works describe a similar event when the Prophet Muhammad’s son died.

The celestial event, which was last visible in the U.S. in 2017 and won’t be seen in the country again until 2044, “warrant gathering, celebration, worship, and prayer,” the complaint reads.

Cars to facilitate employment

From France: Renault expands the contours of its CareMakers program.

Link to video

Smack for Heinz

I’ll let this report explain:

Some dining establishments don’t offer condiments. Heinz simply won’t stand for that.

So, the brand devised a clever way to make ketchup available to customers who crave it: “smackable” billboards with ketchup dispensers, placed outside no-condiment eateries.

“Smack for Heinz” billboards will appear throughout Chicago, near The Wieners Circle and Navy Pier and a certain fast food chain with golden arches that doesn’t use Heinz.

Users simply smack the upside-down bottle of ketchup on the billboard to dispense a few packets.

Link to campaign video