‘Penile fractures: the price of a merry Christmas’

That’s the quaintly-worded title of a study out of Germany that was published in this month’s British Journal of Urology.  In fact, the text of the study is sprinkled with a instances of attempts to be humorous, even at the risk of being nonsensical. 

From the introduction:

In Germany, Christmas is widely celebrated. ‘It’s the most wonderful time of the year, there is always much mistletoeing, and hearts are glowing, when loved ones are near’. In other words, Christmas might be a risk factor for penile fractures due to the ‘Christmas spirit’ related to the intimacy and euphoria of these holly jolly days. Besides, how can you celebrate Christmas without children?

Consider also this observation and comment:

Interestingly, the New Year’s Eve period was not associated with increased risk of penile fractures. The latter might be attributed to the fact that New Year’s Eve is not so widely celebrated in Germany. Besides, the Christmas markets close and the Christmas decorations are removed.

And this is the disclosure about the authors of the study:

None of the authors has actively contributed to these data by experiencing a penile fracture. The authors have only participated in the drafting, writing, and editing of the manuscript. This year all authors promise to do nothing special.