IRS Reminder
A recent tweet that cites a couple of points that the US IRS wants taxpayers to be aware of:
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Fancy a Chocolate & Peanut Butter Education?
That’s what is being offered by Reese’s University- assuming such an institution exists- in a campaign that blurs the line between fact and fiction in a way that will make your head spin. To put it bluntly and crudely- and pardon my language- this campaign is a gigantic mindf**k. On the surface you have what has the look and feel of a serious promotion. Yet for every instance that it appears to assert a truth, there is another that makes you wonder if someone is pulling your leg.
Take the press release for example. It starts off with the headline:
Reese's University Announces Open Enrollment for the First Time in History
Yet three lines into it, you have this:
The storied institution, known as a destination for those with impressive taste and ambitious appetites, will carefully skim all applications and accept 99.99% of aspiring students.
There’s more:
Ever think about how great it would be to be a student at a school with endless opportunities for fun? Ever wish Reese’s had its own college? At Reese’s University, life is meant to be lived, not overthought.
And then there’s this clarifying footnote:
Reese’s University is a chocolate and peanut butter research-focused university based in Round Ridge, Pa. It offers a cutting-edge curriculum in the confectionery arts and sciences and robust extracurriculars that suit the needs of every student. With a 99.99% acceptance rate, and a perfect graduation rate, Reese’s U consistently ranks as the most delicious university a student can attend.
Founded in 1923, Reese’s U is home to accomplished faculty and staff, all dedicated to creating an environment that supports students' impeccable taste and ambitious appetites. They believe there is no limit to what a student can achieve at Reese's U. The collegiate institution's creed, “Peanutum en Chocolux,” puts it best: chocolate and peanut butter, a perfect combination.
*Our lawyers want you to know Reese's University is not a real University.
**Based on their inability to have a good time, it's obvious that our lawyers did not attend Reese's University.
That’s not all. There’s also a campaign website and a video that do an equally perfect job of mixing fantasy and reality- both in words and imagery.
Making of a Champion Axe Thrower
From a recent piece on Ceola McGowan who is the top female axe thrower in Ireland and is aspiring for a world championship title:
Ceola threw her first axe in 2018 and is already the fourth best female thrower in the world.
She said: “It's the power of picking up an axe and feeling like a badass. You look at this big thing that has got four sharp points on it, two sharp blades, and I’m going to fling this over my head 20 feet down to a target that’s got a two-inch diameter bullseye and I’m going to get that.
“It’s very zen. It’s very meditative. You’re inhaling, you’re exhaling, you’re throwing, and that kind of ‘thunk’ noise when the axe hits the target. It’s just the best feeling. You’ve had a bad day, throw an axe - thunk - it’s better.”
Ceola credits her fitness and core strength to the pole dancing classes she takes in Bray.
A Savage Profile of Donald Trump Jr.
To quote from the opening paragraph of an opinion piece in The Atlantic, that has gone viral:
Donald Trump Jr. is both intensely unappealing and uninteresting. He combines in his person corruption, ineptitude, and banality. He is perpetually aggrieved; obsessed with trolling the left; a crude, one-dimensional figure who has done a remarkably good job of keeping from public view any redeeming qualities he might have.
Smash the Family Drama
In the days leading up to Christmas, mobile service brand Visible had this offer for New Yorkers:
As the wireless service that gives anyone family plan savings without any family needed, we’d like to invite you to come de-stress from your holiday family gatherings this year. That’s why we’ve created the “Shatter the Family Drama” Smash Room, where you and a baseball bat can crush a variety of items inspired by the family drama you encounter every holiday season.
Car Crash Flavoured Chips
From Canada: “the consequence of pot behind the wheel, in a stoner snack”. As part of a campaign against driving while high, SAAQ - Quebec’s equivalent of the DMV- launched chips that apparently “taste like blood but also a little bit of asphalt and metal”.
Questionable Quoting
Those familiar with Shakespeare’s Othello will find this especially amusing.
After being cleared of wrongdoing in a parliamentary enquiry, British politician Jacob Rees-Mogg took to Twitter to express his feelings via a quote from the Bard.
As it happens, he was quoting Iago (from Othello) whose measure of evil is arguably unparalleled across Shakespeare’s works. Not surprisingly, there were some telling responses such as one person noting that “comparing himself to Iago, best described by Coleridge as an agent of ‘motiveless malignity’, is an unfortunate and rather apt accident.”
Notably, one user on Twitter pulled out a 2012 article in which Mr. Rees-Mogg is quoted as saying:
My favourite book is probably my well-thumbed copy of The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations. It’s the third edition, which I bought with a school prize I was given in 1985.
It’s a book of endless delight and use. Sometimes, it’s possible to spend an age wandering from one quotation to the next. A fantastic cheat’s guide, it allows a smattering of knowledge to go a long way.
A Lickable TV That Imitates Food Flavours
A Japanese professor has developed a prototype lickable TV screen that can imitate food flavours, another step towards creating a multisensory viewing experience.
The device, called Taste the TV (TTTV), uses a carousel of 10 flavour canisters that spray in combination to create the taste of a particular food. The flavour sample then rolls on hygienic film over a flat TV screen for the viewer to try.
In the Covid-19 era, this kind of technology can enhance the way people connect and interact with the outside world, said Homei Miyashita, a professor at Meiji University in Tokyo.
“The goal is to make it possible for people to have the experience of something like eating at a restaurant on the other side of the world, even while staying at home,” he said.
Berlin Metro’s Stress-Busting Edible Tickets
Excerpts from a DW news report:
Berlin's public transport company (BVG) has come up with a way for passengers in the German capital to unwind from the stress of Christmas and COVID.
BVG is offering customers the chance to buy day tickets impregnated with hemp oil, which it promises will have a “calming effect” when they are eaten.
The tickets, which cost € 8.80 ($ 9.95) each, are made from edible paper and are sprinkled with “no more than three drops” of hemp oil.
“This way you can travel hassle-free around Berlin all day and then simply swallow your Christmas stress along with your ticket,” the company said.
Ashes to Ashes
From Australia: Ian Chappell fronts an ad campaign that has little to do with cricket other than use it for some precarious wordplay.
Santa Claus Pitches for Milan
From Italy: in an audacious new commercial, the city of Milan presents Santa Claus as its brand ambassador.
The Australian Job
Australia’s film industry is promoting its post-production credentials to movie makers around the world, via a faux trailer for a Hollywood-esque thriller.
‘Bawdy, fertile, redheaded matriarch’
Those are the words of a son, describing his late mother, in a hilarious, heartfelt 1000-word obituary that has gone viral. A few excerpts:
A plus-sized Jewish lady redneck died in El Paso on Saturday. Of itself hardly news, or good news if you’re the type that subscribes to the notion that anybody not named you dying in El Paso, Texas is good news. In which case have I got news for you: the bawdy, fertile, redheaded matriarch of a sprawling Jewish-Mexican-Redneck American family has kicked it.
Because she was my mother, the death of zaftig good-time gal Renay Corren at the impossible old age of 84 is newsworthy to me, and I treat it with the same respect and reverence she had for, well, nothing. A more disrespectful, trash-reading, talking and watching woman in NC, FL or TX was not to be found.
Here’s what Renay was great at: dyeing her red roots, weekly manicures, dirty jokes, pier fishing, rolling joints and buying dirty magazines. She said she read them for the articles, but filthy free speech was really Renay’s thing. Hers was a bawdy, rowdy life lived large, broke and loud.
We thought Renay could not be killed. God knows, people tried. A lot. Renay has been toying with death for a decades, but always beating it and running off in her silver Chevy Nova. Covid couldn’t kill Renay. Neither could pneumonia twice, infections, blood clots, bad feet, breast cancer twice, two mastectomies, two recessions, multiple bankruptcies, marriage to a philandering Sergeant Major, divorce in the 70’s, six kids, one cesarean, a few abortions from the Quietly Famous Abortionist of Spring Lake, NC or an affair with Larry King in the 60’s. Renay was preceded in death by her ex-boyfriend, Larry King.
There will be a very disrespectful and totally non-denominational memorial on May 10, 2022, most likely at a bowling alley in Fayetteville, NC. The family requests absolutely zero privacy or propriety, none what so ever, and in fact encourages you to spend some government money today on a 1-armed bandit, at the blackjack table or on a cheap cruise to find our inheritance. She spent it all, folks. She left me nothing but these lousy memories. Which I, and my family of five brothers and my sister-in-laws, nephews, friends, nieces, neighbors, ex-boyfriends, Larry King’s children, who I guess I might be one of, the total strangers who all, to a person, loved and will cherish her. Forever. Please think of the brightly-frocked, frivolous, funny and smart Jewish redhead who is about to grift you, tell you a filthy joke, and for Larry King’s sake: LAUGH.
Hang While You Hang
That’s how Miller Lite is pitching its ‘Beernaments’- Christmas-tree ornaments that can be fitted with 8oz lager cans, for when you hang out with friends.
‘Large, Pink and Elusive’
That’s the description put out by police in South Carolina for a rogue pig that they’ve been looking for. From the Facebook post of the local police department:
Whether former pet or intended produce, this fellow has been wreaking havoc in the Freedom Boulevard area.
Described as large, pink and elusive, SumterPD began receiving calls about the pig over the weekend.
This is not a laughing matter for these residents whose property was damaged by this animal. Its size alone is of concern and we ask that you not try to approach it.
Scent of ‘The Internet’
“A scent that encapsulates the world wide web”: that’s the idea behind a new perfume called, well, ‘The Internet’. This is how it is described on the product page:
An extractive web of raw minerals and sweat, spiking dopamine and desperate self-monetization from the vantage of a polyurethane chair.
But what exactly does it smell like? According to one of the people behind it, it smells most like a “vodka-soaked fursuit, though more as though someone pissed in that suit first, but in a good way”.
A 15ml bottle can be yours for $170 USD.
The Good Life
From France: an ad that is magnificent in the way it conveys a message of hope and radiates positivity.
Now Iran plans sanctions against US
To quote from a report:
Secretary-General of Iran’s Human Rights Office Kazem Gharibabadi said the Islamic Republic will publish a list of American entities and individuals involved in human rights abuses. They will then be subject to sanctions from Iran, the official Islamic Republic News Agency reported.
Gharibabadi did not offer specifics on what the sanctions will entail, but said the move relates to policing issues in the United States, particularly in regard to Black Americans.
“Human rights experts confirmed that police brutality in the US against people of color especially, African-Americans, should be considered systemic racism,” he said.
Where no man has scrubbed before
An amusing spot from male grooming brand, Tooletries, quickly and effectively makes the case for its latest product.
Waxing Eloquent
From South Africa: in its latest ad, King Price insurance once again manages to find humour amidst the pandemic (for previous examples, see this and this).
PS: On a separate note, I have particular admiration for the brilliance of this ad, from a couple of years ago.
Hyundai Reimagines Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds’
A new spot for Hyundai’s hydrogen fuel-cell trucks invokes the dread of the 1963 horror classic (with inspiration from the more recent, A Quiet Place).
Hamster Love
From Dutch supermarket chain Albert Heijn, this is a strong contender for the most endearing Christmas commercial this year.
Jed Mercurio’s Takedown of Boris Johnson
While Boris Johnson generally attracted a lot of derision and criticism for wearing police gear to promote a new drug policing strategy, this scathing tweet from Line of Duty creator, Jed Mercurio especially stood out.
A Bomb in the Backside
To quote from a news report:
Army bomb squad technicians were sent to a hospital after a man arrived in casualty with a WWII anti-tank shell lodged into his rectum.
Medics called for specialist support after the man presented in the Accident and Emergency unit of Gloucestershire Royal Hospital in Gloucester when he could not remove the 57mm shell.
The military collector claimed he armour-piercing munition was from his private arsenal. He told medics the 80-year-old explosive device became lodged after he tripped and fell awkwardly.
‘Is Superman Circumcised?’ wins Oddest Book Title Award
Recent winners of the annual Diagram Prize have included ‘Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop’, ‘How to Poo on a Date’ and ‘A Dog Pissing at the Edge of a Path: Animal Metaphors in Eastern Indonesian Society’. The most referenced winner has probably been 2003’s ‘The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories’. Apparently, two out of every five winners have been titles for higher education studies.
The administrator of the award had this to say about the winning title and its author:
Congratulations to Is Superman Circumcised? and its author Roy Schwartz for the heroic effort put into winning the 43rd Diagram Prize. Mr Schwartz seems smarter than Lex Luthor (and presumably less evil) as I can’t recall any author being so pleased to make the Diagram shortlist. He has been busier than Meryl Streep’s publicist during Oscar season in pushing Is Superman Circumcised? out to his fans.
All of our shortlistees would have been worthy winners but with all due respect to them, I am glad of the margin of victory, for if it was a close-run thing I would have feared a slip of the tongue if I had to talk about Is Superman Circumcised? winning by the skin of its, er, teeth.
A Dicky Voice Assistant
From Sweden: a campaign to highlight “gender stereotyping in AI” asserts what a male voice assistant could come across as. Lazy, creepy, easily offended… the list goes on.
Scam Awareness: Hollywood-style
An absurdly hilarious campaign for Google’s Scam Spotter that risks distracting viewers from its core message.
Masculine Mixing
An ad campaign for a drinks mixer brand that takes a sharp (and witty) dig at people “who don’t mix well”.
Link to a behind-the-scenes video (sort of)