Profiting from People
A new PSA from Amnesty International UK imagines what a boardroom presentation of a people smuggling operation might look like.
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Infrequently Asked Questions about Oatmilk
The website of oat milk brand Oatly is packed with tongue-in-cheek wordplay. Someone recently drew my attention to a section titled ‘Infrequently Asked Questions Concerning Oatmilk’ which is explained as “the only resource you need for answers to questions you've probably never had about the original oat drink.” Here’s a short selection:
“Can I get an electric vehicle tax credit for buying oatmilk?”
We don’t want so say no and we don't want to say yes, but unless you can figure out a way to drive oatmilk, we're going with no.
“Is oatmilk affected by full moons?”
A fair ask and while we stall in answering it, you may be interested in this awkward segue: on average, oatmilk has a lower climate impact than cow milk, and conceivably, possibly, is less affected by full moons, if it at all.
“Will cows be angry or vengeful if I start using oatmilk?”
We’ve done literally no research on this whatsoever but feel confident in saying that cows really won’t know the difference.
“Is oatmilk approved by The Academy of American Poets?”
Transparency is an extremely big deal to us as you know, so we'll say this: The Academy of American Poets has not not approved oatmilk, but they have approved us using their name in this Infrequently Asked Question, which is pretty cool of them.
Snake Rewards
First, there was this wildly over-the-top announcement:
The deadpan humour extended to the press releases as well. This, from the first:
Today Archer Roose Wines and Elizabeth Banks, Co-Owner and Chief Creative Officer, announce a new, first of its kind corporate rewards program. This innovative endeavor boasts a reward unlike any other — each customer who purchases a minimum of 100,000 cases of Archer Roose wine will be mailed a real, live complimentary snake of the company's choosing.
“What are the two things America loves the most? Luxury wine in cans. And snakes.” says Banks. “Coming up with a program like this felt like a no-brainer.”
While customers are unable to select the size or species of the snake they wish to receive, the Archer Roose website displays an impressive selection of the reptiles that could be mailed to lucky customers.
“We’re very excited,” says Banks. “Giving back to our customers, our community - it's extremely important to us. This program does just that.”
This, from the second, a week later:
Elizabeth Banks, Co-Owner and Chief Creative Officer of Archer Roose Wines issued a retraction & replacement of ‘The Snake Rewards Program.’
“You win some, you lose some,” says Elizabeth Banks, Hollywood actress and Chief Creative Officer of Archer Roose. “Not everyone can appreciate truly great business ideas.”
“At our core, we’re a risk-taking company,” says Marian Leitner-Waldman, Co-Founder & CEO of Archer Roose. “And I think offering free snakes to perfect strangers has taught us some very valuable lessons. Needless to say, we are very excited about the new reptile-free Archer Roose Rewards program.”
Probably best of all, were the videos fronted by Banks:
Let’s Fix Dating
In a new series of spots, dating app Badoo finds the perfect balance between advice and humour as it shines light on dating behaviour that is unacceptable or just unproductive.
-No Thanks
-Thrilling Conversation
-No Surprises
-Table for Two
A Ducky Campaign
From Norway: a new spot for Bank2 that relies on the cuteness of ducks to build brand recall. To quote the creative agency, though, the director of the ad “gives a duck about banking”.
It might help to know that the primary target audience of Bank2 are those in financial distress, and in the Norwegian version, the punchline isn’t an exercise in wordplay: it is much more direct.
Links to video:
Dopesick (2021)
SERIES REVIEW
Dopesick is an 8 hour drama, set against the first decade or so of America’s opioid crisis.
It is widely agreed that the start of that crisis can be traced to the launch of the drug OxyContin by Purdue Pharma in the 1990s, and the aggressive and dishonest way that the drug was promoted. However, despite strong evidence, as well as the efforts of dedicated law enforcement officials, no executives of the firm or any members of the Sackler family- who owned and ran the firm- have ever been held personally responsible- so far, at least. Dopesick attempts to tell the story of most of what happened.
On the plus side, it does a good job at presenting a well-rounded view of the crisis: what went on behind-the-scenes at Purdue Pharma, how that affected communities, and why the law enforcement teams struggled to take action against the company and its people. It presents, with chilling effect, how doctors were manipulated into prescribing the drug. On the down side, the rapidly shifting timeline can be hard to follow. Secondly, the narrative thread featuring the DEA- which occupies a large chunk of the running time and contributes most to the story going back-and-forth in time- is much less interesting and impactful than the rest of the material. If you can look past that, this is a tense, solid, and compelling drama.
PS: Those who have seen John Oliver’s terrific takedown of the Sackler family may remember his candidates for the role of Richard Sackler, believed to be the brains behind OxyContin and its marketing strategy. One of them, Michael Keaton, features in Dopesick but in a very different role. Instead, we have Michael Stuhlbarg who gives an intense, scary and eerily spot-on performance as Richard Sackler. Of course, Stuhlbarg had the advantage of seeing Sackler’s deposition (which Oliver’s candidates didn’t have). Sadly, though, Stuhlbarg hardly got any awards recognition.
Zoo uses live songs to encourage monkeys to have sex
Excerpts from a NME report:
A Stafford zoo hired a Marvin Gaye impersonator to visit the park this past weekend to encourage a group of endangered monkeys to “get it on”.
Trentham Monkey Forest hired Dave Largie – described as “a highly experienced love song guru” – to serenade a group of Barbary macaques in the hope that he could help “boost the monkey love” this mating season.
“We thought it could be a creative way to encourage our females to show a little affection to males that might not have been so lucky in love,” park director Matt Lovatt said in a statement.
The park tweeted a video of Largie singing Gaye’s iconic song ‘Let’s Get It On’.
800 volunteers sign up to be imprisoned in Swiss jail
Earlier this month, a soon-to-be-opened prison in Zurich put out a call for volunteers to spend a few nights locked-up, as part of a test run, before it starts accepting actual prisoners. It has now been reported that the prison received over 800 volunteer applications. Might there have been something about the prison's pitch, that made so many people sign up?
To quote from one report:
Prison officials have extolled the virtues of the program, saying people can get a real idea of how it feels to be in prison – without having to commit a crime.
“There are only winners in this test operation. As a participant, you can experience in a safe environment how it might feel for a real arrested person to suddenly be locked up.”
“Make your own comparison between fiction from various series and reality in Switzerland.”
For anyone looking for a fun and romantic idea in the lead up to Valentines Day, officials say that couples can participate, although prisoners will be separated according to gender.
CLiQ Forever
From India: a Valentine’s Day campaign centered on exes that- believe it or not- radiates warmth and affection. Via a series of posts on LinkedIn, online shopping portal Tata CLiQ penned cutely worded, heartfelt messages to its ex-employees, wishing them the best for the future. What’s more, it tagged their current employers, and thanked them for taking good care of their exes.
Chocolate Erotica
From France: chocolate brand Le chocolat des Français has used artwork on its packaging to build a unique brand identity for itself, and as a centre piece of its promotions as well (see this, for example). For its Valentine’s Day promotion this year, it has put out a set of ginger chocolates whose packaging artwork features sexually suggestive imagery. In the words of the people behind the campaign:
The campaign features couples who have fallen into a routine. In the middle of the visual, the tablet calls on them to spice up their Valentine's Day evening thanks to optical illusions combining everyday elements and sexual ambiguity.
‘Plant-based lovers do it better’
Valentine’s Day pitch from plant-based food brand JUST Egg:
The campaign strategy included a billboard in Midtown Manhattan, a full-page ad in The New York Times, and a giveaway deluxe hotel stay.
Super Bowel Contest
Bidet brand Tushy has made people’s bathroom habits, bowel movements, and poop and fart references and jokes, an integral part of its promotions (see this, for example). Last week it announced on Twitter, what one report described as “the grossest Super Bowl promotion of all-time”.
For those who may be wondering how the winner would be decided, this is the ‘judging criteria’, laid out in the contest rules:
All eligible Entries will be judged by a panel of at least three qualified judges, such qualifications as determined by Tushy in Tushy’s sole and exclusive discretion (“Judges”) based on the following judging criteria on a scale of 1-5:
- Texture of Entry;
- Color of Entry;
- Mass of Entry; and
- Extra Flair of Entry
In the event of a tie, tie breaker will be based upon the highest point score for Extra Flair of Entry, continuing thereafter to each judging criterion in the order listed above, as needed, to break the tie. If a tie still exists, a new set of Judges will rejudge the tied Entries to break the tie(s) in accordance with the foregoing criteria.
And in case that wasn’t clear enough (or perhaps, gross enough), it put out this tweet as well:
New Zealand plays ‘Macarena’ to disperse protestors
To quote from an AP report:
Some countries might send in a riot squad to disperse trespassing protesters. In New Zealand, authorities turned on the sprinklers and Barry Manilow.
Initial moves to try and flush out several hundred protesters who have been camped on Parliament’s grassy grounds since Tuesday had little effect.
The protesters, who have been voicing their opposition to coronavirus vaccine mandates, responded to the soaking from the sprinklers by digging trenches and installing makeshift drainpipes to divert the water.
When a downpour hit Saturday, their numbers only grew. Protesters brought in bales of straw, which they scattered on the increasingly sodden grounds at Parliament. Some shouted, others danced and one group performed an Indigenous Maori haka.
By evening, Parliament Speaker Trevor Mallard had come up with a new plan to make the protesters uncomfortable: using a sound system to blast out vaccine messages, decades-old Barry Manilow songs and the 1990s earworm hit “Macarena” on a repeat loop.
It seems the strategy didn’t work as expected because soon enough, the protestors started dancing to the music.
French Fries Perfume
I’ll let this press release from the Idaho Potato Commission do the explaining:
Love is in the Air... And it Smells like French Fries
The Idaho Potato Commission (IPC) has bottled one of the world’s most irresistible scents, fresh Idaho® Potato French fries just in time for Valentine’s Day. Frites by Idaho is a limited-edition fragrance available only on the IPC’s website.
A recent national survey conducted by Pollfish, revealed that nearly 90% of Americans find the smell of French fries irresistible. “Whether you’re at a drive through restaurant or dining in, it’s near impossible to not grab a fry and take a bite before you dive into your meal. The smell is too good to resist,” explained Jamey Higham, President and CEO, IPC. “This perfume is a great gift for anyone who can’t refuse a French fry.”
Frites by Idaho is made from distilled Idaho potatoes and essential oils. The 1.7-ounce crystalline bottle retails for $1.89, about the price of a large order of French fries.
Crowdsourcing Brexit Opportunities
It was strange enough that at this stage, Boris Johnson discovered the need to have a minister for ‘Brexit opportunities’. It didn’t help matters that he chose Jacob Rees-Mogg for the post (see this, for example). But all of that pales in comparison to Mr. Rees-Mogg’s first order of business: to crowdsource ideas about what he should do, from the readers of The Sun.
This is what LBC presenter James O’Brien had to say:
Almost six years since the referendum and *today* Jacob Rees-Mogg is asking Brexit-voting Sun readers to tell him what they actually won...
Comedy writer James Felton was a bit more blunt:
When the benefits of Brexit are so real you have to crowdsource them from a paper that began as a mainstream Jugs Magazine.
Help the Spammers
From Russia: an off-the-wall solution to tackle phone spam.
Last year, fintech Tinkoff introduced a free version of its AI voice assistant Oleg. Among other things, Oleg can recognize spam callers and, rather than simply block them, can engage them in a conversation. That ability has now been enhanced so as to have conversations that encourage spammers to look for another profession. To quote from one report, “Oleg delivers motivational speeches on a case-by-case basis, these phrases hopefully inspiring the spammers to consider a career change.”
Reacher- Season 1
SERIES REVIEW
Finally we have Jack Reacher on the screen looking and acting like the Jack Reacher we pictured in the novels. Plus he’s fun to watch. A lot of fun. I am salivating at the prospect of more seasons.
For those who haven’t read the books, think of someone with the build of Schwarzenegger, the wit of the characters he played back in the 80s and 90s, the smartness of Sherlock, and violent when he needs to be. Brutally violent. To quote one reviewer, “for those of you who take immense pleasure in cathartic violence, well, Reacher is just what the doctor would order”.
‘Not a Complete Clown’
Boris Johnson is “not a complete clown”, his new communications director has said, as he revealed that the prime minister initiated a defiant rendition of Gloria Gaynor’s I Will Survive when the pair met last week.
On Physical Exhaustion and Discomfort
Excerpt from the 1938 book, Lhasa: The Holy City, by F. Spencer Chapman.
It is curious what vicarious pleasure one derives from physical exhaustion and discomfort. It is a strange paradox that the more intolerable a journey is at the time, the more satisfactory does it become in retrospect. Our sensibilities and characters were made to be sharpened against the hard forces of Nature. But how few people nowadays get any chance to test their physical endurance to breaking-point, to feel cold fear gnawing at their hearts, or to have to make decisions that hold life and death in the balance? That is why men flock so easily to war; to test a manhood that is perverted by the present state of civilization. Rugby football, mountaineering, ski-ing, even motoring, are but makeshifts for this vanished birthright; narcotics to alleviate the monotony of existence that has become too safe and easy.
h/t: Alpha Ideas
Hard Times for Super Thieves
A wonderfully visualised spot for Dutch bike maker VanMoof, studded with top-notch animation and delightful character work.
The Fisherman
From Denmark: ahead of Valentine’s Day, a beautifully crafted spot for Interflora tells a heartwarming tale of love.
Liquid Death- Betting on Witchcraft
The latest promotion from Liquid Death is quite the sort of initiative that one has come to expect from the canned water brand. It has announced that it’s putting money on the underdog team winning the forthcoming Super Bowl final, and that it has hired a witch to make sure it wins.
‘Embarrassed’ burglar pays homeowners after breaking in
From a news report out of New Mexico:
A contrite Santa Fe burglar, caught in the act Sunday afternoon, apologized to the homeowners and gave them $200 for the window he broke to gain entry before walking off. Jewelry left on a counter was untouched.
The suspect apparently slept in the home, bathed, ate food and drank beer before the owners returned to their Vereda Serena residence and found the man in a back room, according to a Santa Fe County Sheriff’s Office report.
A duffel bag and an AR-15 scoped rifle was next to the suspect, but he did not threaten the homeowners. He picked up the items and left, dropping $200 on a living room chair on his way out, saying it was “reimbursement for the window he broke,” the report said.
The owner said “the male was extremely embarrassed and apologetic about the situation,” the report states.
Waitographers
That’s how Hilton is designating its waiters who have been formally “upskilled” and certified as mobile photographers. And it has a new campaign that encourages guests to avail of their lensing services.
Funeral Attraction
From Russia: a funeral services firm is in the news for a video posted on its Instagram page that appears to show behind-the-scenes clips from a promotional shoot, with scantily-clad females posing next to coffins. Accompanying the video is this text (machine translated):
Horonim.ru organizes the funeral of the dead and provides preferential funeral services for all categories of citizens.
We have our own staff of qualified agents who control the organization of the funeral at every stage - from paperwork to the funeral ritual.