Saving is in
From Australia: ING Bank uses droll humour to promote the launch of its ‘Savings Booster’ savings account.
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Kids, clarified
Pizza Hut UK adds a dash of humour to its ‘Kids Eat Free’ promotion.
There’s also this:
THE PIZZA HUT OFFICIAL GOAT POLICY
To ensure the comfort, safety, and dining experience of all guests, the following Goat Policy applies at all times.
The management welcomes customers from all walks of life. However, goats, whether domestic, wild, mountain, miniature, pygmy, dairy, cashmere, angora, boer, alpine, saanen, nubian, toggenburg, fainting or otherwise caprine in nature, are not permitted to participate in promotions intended for human customers unless expressly stated.
For the avoidance of doubt, a goat remains a goat regardless of size, age, hairstyle, confidence level or choice of accessories. The addition of a lead, collar, jumper, raincoat, school uniform, bow tie, spectacles, trainers, backpack, birthday hat or novelty moustache does not alter its taxonomic classification.
Customers must not:
- Register a goat as a child.
- Present a goat as a qualifying guest.
- Attempt to order from the children’s menu on behalf of a goat.
- Argue that a goat is ‘basically one of the family’.
- Claim that a goat has ‘excellent table manners’ as grounds for an exception.
- Introduce a goat through the main entrance, side entrance, emergency exit, kitchen window or ventilation system, or disguised inside an oversized coat. Goats found browsing decorative plants, sampling menus, investigating table legs, standing on furniture, attempting to negotiate with staff, chewing promotional materials or expressing unusually strong opinions regarding pizza toppings may be politely escorted from the premises.
Management accepts no responsibility for:
- Missing napkins subsequently discovered to have been eaten.
- Shoelaces that become unexpectedly shorter.
- Flower displays that become significantly less floral.
- Customers who insist they ‘only looked away for a second’.
- Any philosophical debate concerning whether goats would enjoy stuffed crust.
Exceptions to this policy may only be granted where required by applicable law. Such exceptions do not extend to emotional support goats, motivational goats, office goats, celebrity goats, influencer goats, pirate goats, detective goats, goats wearing fake glasses or goats that can allegedly ‘understand English’.
Any disputes concerning the species of an individual shall be determined solely by management.
Pizza Hut UK x
Normal F***ing Sunglasses
DuckDuckGo takes a savage jab at AI-powered sunglasses with one that do just what they are supposed to do.
Better In Real Life
From Australia: awkwardness abounds in this film for Melbourne-based Hector’s Deli centred on a first date that gets off to a shaky start.
Get Real World Useful
No students. No campus sights. A new campaign for the University of Lincoln in England steers clear of familiar tropes and makes its point with a real-world dose of dry humour.
Man arrested for train surfing… naked
To quote from a tongue-in-cheek post by the Sedgwick County Sheriff's Office in Colorado:
Greetings Sedgwick County,
For those of you who had the unfortunate experience of seeing this gentleman surfing naked on top of a moving locomotive yesterday, I want you to know that he was arrested on felony and misdemeanor charges.
Daniel Ray Ballance of Quartzsite, AZ decided to visit our County yesterday via the Union Pacific Railroad after he broke a window on a locomotive and entered it. To some he blew the horn, to others he showed a little too much.
Daniel expressed his love of vodka, beer, and playing the Banjo. Unfortunately, we had to separate him from those loves and the train ride. Instead Daniel is spending some time at an all expenses paid stay in jail, where he is presumed innocent until proven guilty.
RIP Gary Sobers
From a tribute on the AP News website:
Sobers held a slew of records. His unbeaten 365 against Pakistan in 1958 — remarkably his first test century — was the record score for 36 years, before countryman Brian Lara bettered it. He also was the first player to reach 8,000 runs in test cricket and to hit six sixes in one over in a first-class game, for Nottinghamshire against Glamorgan in English county cricket in 1968.
All this achieved while maintaining a party lifestyle.
“Well, it’s an exaggeration to say I was partying every night. Just every other,” Sobers told The Guardian newspaper in 2002.
“The night before a test match, I’d always be out and about all night. Sometimes I didn’t sleep at all before a big game.”
The Future Is Feline
In a new campaign, pet-tech company Whisker unambiguously announces where it stands in the cat vs. dog debate.
‘Only fans’ from Back Market
In a tongue-in-cheek spot, the refurbished goods platform turns up the heat, to help beat the heat.
Marmite is Wemite… for the World Cup
As posted by the brand (shortly after the tournament began):
We’re changing our name from MARMITE to WEMITE. Because WEMITE reach the quarters, WEMITE reach the semis, WEMITE even go and win it.
Woman pleads ignorance about drugs found in her butt
Well, there’s more. She suggested that the drugs were planted in an “intimate encounter”. As reported by the Brevard County Sheriff's Office, Florida:
You really just can’t make this stuff up…butt you sure can try as this one puts the ole… “those are not my pants” excuse to shame!!
Over the weekend, Deputies arrested Reagan Cox for resisting an officer without violence during a traffic stop. Of course she was transported to Ivey’s Iron Bar Lodge and folks this is where things get interesting…
As Cox was being processed through the scanner, an abnormality was seen in the “lower region” of her person or “Jail Purse” area if you will. Our Corrections Deputies moved Cox to a change out room where she was observed trying to cover her buttocks area with her hand. After moving her hand, a baggie dropped to the floor containing approximately 3.8 grams of cocaine!!
Now here’s why we say you just can’t make this stuff up as when the baggie dropped to the floor, Cox spontaneously uttered that she knew nothing about the drugs and that someone must have put it in there during an “intimate encounter!!”
There’s just not much else to say about this one folks, other than Cox received an additional charge for Introduction of Contraband into a Detention Facility for bringing cocaine into the jail facility!!
Folks, if not realizing that someone left cocaine in your “Jail Purse,” is not a good enough reminder to not do drugs, then I don’t know what is!!
Super Break… with a bit extra
Following its 30-second Supergirl commercial earlier this month, KFC has now released a 90-second version that adds credits and—hold your breath—an after-credit scene.
Bunker Boyz
From the YouTube description:
“Bunker Boyz” is a merciless satirical take on the survivalist fantasies, Mars obsessions, and immortality complexes of Silicon Valley's elite. Men so insulated by wealth and power that they can no longer relate to humanity, let alone reality.
They are would-be conquerors who turn out to want nothing grander than a friend. It is fitting, then, that men so committed to manufacturing their own realities should be portrayed by the very technology built to manufacture synthetic images.
There's also dancing.
Saul Goodman wants Americans to know their rights
Bob Odenkirk reprises his iconic role in a PSA with a delightful surprise at the end.
John Malkovich promotes Croatia
The actor’s trademark cantankerous persona is full on in this 6 minute film for the Croatian National Tourist Board.
TSA’s Ranch Dressing Advisory
From a social media post by the US Transportation Security Administration:
If you’re visiting for a very large sporting event & you happen to discover RANCH while you’re here… pls pack it in your CHECKED BAG on the way home.
Thank you.
ok please avoid chugging your ranch outside security the airlines will check it for you
One World. One Ranch.
Who knew dip-lomacy could be achieved through addressing the obvious: ranch is the king of condiments. The world is slowly discovering ranch pairs perfectly with pizza, chicken wings, fries, onion rings, quesadillas, crackers, chips, vegetables, and the list just keeps growing.
Are you kicking around the idea of flying home with your favorite dip? If you’re traveling within the U.S., make sure to keep your carry-on sauces to 3.4oz or less and place any larger containers in your checked bags.
Some heroes wear capes. Others bring ranch.