Fry Funeral

Let’s start with the press release issued by KFC Canada:

KFC Canada’s Old Fries have weathered their fair share of criticism over the years with the reigning sentiment being, to put it plainly, ‘KFC Fries suck.’ KFC heard Canadians loud and clear and have launched its new, boldly seasoned fries to win back the love of its most passionate fans and a bold campaign to support. New Seasoned Fries are crispy and seasoned enough to satisfy our toughest critics.

This is where things get creative.  To mark the end of its “Soggy Fry Era”, KFC organised a ‘funeral procession’ through the streets of Toronto so that Canadians could offer “their final disrespects”.  For those who missed that, there’s a live streamed funeral scheduled on August 1.

Link to campaign video

Family fun day… at an incinerator

Excerpts from a news report out of South West England:

The doors of Plymouth's huge waste incinerator are being thrown open to the public for a fun-filled family event next month. The team at MVV Environment Devonport are welcoming Plymouth families to its upcoming open day which will be packed full of engaging activities for kids.

MVV says it will be an 'unforgettable day of excitement and entertainment'. There will be a range of engaging games and activities, plus a range of food stalls and tours of the facility.

An MVV spokesperson said: "Our team at MVV Environment Devonport is eager to showcase our facility and provide insights into our environmentally sustainable practices. You'll have the opportunity to learn about our commitment to protecting the environment and fostering a greener future for our community.

Subway Name Change Sweepstakes

From the official rules laid out by Subway:

HOW TO ENTER: During the Promotion Period, visit subwaynamechange.com (“Website”) and complete an official entry form, including your full name, email address and date of birth. Then, agree that “If selected, I hereby commit to changing my first name to ‘Subway’!” and submit the entry form.

ONE (1) PRIZE: A check or prepaid card for $750 to reimburse winner for the cost of winner legally changing first name to Subway and $50,000 worth of Subway® gift cards that may be used to buy Subway® food for the rest of winner’s life, fulfilled at one time. Approximate Retail Value (“ARV”): $50,750.

McDonald’s branch bans entire school

From Japan: a branch of McDonald’s has barred all students of a nearby school from entering its premises.  To quote from a SoraNews24 report:

The McDonald’s branch in the Tana neighborhood of the town of Sagamihara, Kanagawa Prefecture, is just a four-minute walk from Tana Middle School. That seems like it’d be a plus for the fast-food restaurant, what with the prospect of groups of kids coming in with their friends to grab a burger, soda, or sweet snack on their way home from school.

But it turns out that there was an extremely unpleasant side to the McDonald’s branch becoming an after-school hangout spot, and they’ve now banned each and every student from the middle school from entering the restaurant.

This came to the general public’s attention earlier this month, when a tweet went viral showing a written notice posted inside the Tana McDonald’s which says:

To our customers,

Thank you always for choosing to visit our restaurant.

The inconsiderate behavior by middle school students has become a nuisance to other customers, and has created a concern for the physical safety of our workers.

Therefore, we are barring students from Sagamihara Tana Municipal Middle School from entering out our restaurant, the Sagamihara Tana McDonald’s branch.

We ask for your understanding and cooperation in ensuring a safe and secure experience for our customers.

Liquid Death vs. Back Sweat

An internet troll’s comment triggers a yucky idea for the creative minds behind the canned water brand.

Link to video

Accountant Nightmares

Intuit enlightens us on what frightens the living daylights out of bookkeepers.

—Tax Deadline Delirium

—Missing Files

Football Bait-and-Switch

From France: this splendid ad from telecom company Orange uses visual effects to throw up a powerful twist.

Link to video

‘Ice Cream Fondue’ Pizza

From Japan: Nagoya-based pizza chain Aoki’s has a new offering that it is calling a “summer adventure pizza”.  To quote from the SoraNews24 coverage:

Aoki’s describes it as a “summer adventure pizza,” and you’ll have to have an adventurous palate to try it. The uniquely shaped crust forms a raised crater in the center, which serves as a vessel for vanilla ice cream that you dip your slice of pizza into, similar to plunking morsels of food into a fondue pot.

What makes the Ice Cream Fondue Pizza especially strange, though, is that while it’s the sweet elements that set it apart, it’s not a pure dessert pizza. Before you dip the slices in ice cream or drizzle syrup/sauce on them, they just have the classic ingredients of mozzarella cheese peperoni, and sliced mushrooms. So yes, with the Ice Cream Fondue Pizza, Aoki’s is proposing that you get mushroom, pork, and ice cream in your mouth all at the same time.

Austria goes ‘loony’

Austria’s climate ministry is using Looney Tunes-inspired animation to pitch its clean energy refurbishment subsidies for consumers.

Link to video

PlayStation Pasta

I suppose it was an idea waiting to happen: pasta in the shapes of PlayStation’s controller buttons.  Strangely, the explanation of this simple idea is excruciatingly wordy.

The partnership between the historic Gragnano pasta manufacturer and Playstation® is live, a curious encounter between two seemingly different worlds, that of pasta and that of video games, giving rise to a unique co-branding project that creates a bond between different generations. Yes, because the gap between cooking champion parents - and video-game loving kids - can be overcome in the kitchen where the spirit of collaboration reigns supreme. So the Play Your Pasta campaign unites everyone, parents and children, gamers and food lovers, because pasta is a game to be played together!

For the occasion, the two brands have teamed up to launch a surprising new pasta!

Apple TV welcomes Messi to Miami

For those who need more context, I suggest reading this report.

Paper Podcasts

From New Zealand: a campaign for current affairs and pop culture platform, The Spinoff cajoles readers to become listeners of its podcasts.

Gender identity and missile launching

To quote US Congressman Matt Rosendale:

We have drag shows taking place at Malmstrom Air Force Base. There are 150 ICBM missiles that are being controlled by that Air Force Base and by these individuals. I don’t want someone who doesn’t know if they are a man or a woman with their hand on a missile button.

Special Skills

A delightfully silly 1 minute short with a twist you won’t see coming.

Link to video

Slugging, clarified

It began when Vaseline posted this tweet:

As some might imagine, the choice of open-to-interpretation words and visuals got people talking which, in turn, prompted this clarification:

Y’all, we were talking about skincare. Thanks for making this weird.

PS: For those who didn’t get what the fuss was about, I suggest referring to the Urban Dictionary.

Train Tickets vs. Mosquito Repellants

That unlikely comparison is at the heart of a wacky new spot for European train ticketing app Trainline.

Link to video

For Naked Hikers

Granola brand Bear Naked has a new initiative in support of “those who enjoy hiking the way nature intended – in the nude.”

To quote from the promotion website:

Confusing rules and cultural biases against nudity make naked hiking difficult to navigate. That’s why Bear Naked Granola is fueling a team of freehikers on their mission to mark an (un)official nude-friendly trail system.

The team of naked hikers is using the Gaia GPS app to review trails based on nude-friendliness. They are discreetly inputting emojis to mark trails friendly and not friendly for naked hiking.

The brand is also offering for sale a limited-edition hiker's belt “to help strategically cover up those who dare to be bare, so they never have to worry about leaving their granola at home.”

Link to press release

Link to video released on social media (full version is available on the website)

‘War of words and farting’

Excerpts from a hilarious piece of reporting by Page Six, that deserves to be read in full:

Page Six regrets to report that a press dinner to boost Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s presidential campaign descended into a foul bout of screaming and polemic farting Tuesday night.

The gaseous exchange — to which Page Six bore reluctant witness — began after a guest asked Kennedy, founder of the ecological organization Waterkeeper Alliance, about the environment.

And it seems that the mere inquiry was enough to set off apparently drunk gossip columnist-turned-flack Doug Dechert, the host of the event, who became enraged and screamed at the top of his lungs: “The climate hoax!”

Meanwhile, octogenarian art critic Anthony Haden-Guest, who appeared to have been sleeping happily for most of the dinner, was roused by the abrupt rumpus.

He suddenly opened his eyes and denounced his longtime pal Dechert, calling him a “miserable blob.”

Dechert continued to scream wildly about the climate change “scam” while Haden-Guest peppered him with verbal volleys from across the table, calling him variously “f–king insane” and “insignificant.”

Here, it seems, Dechert sensed the need for a new rhetorical tack, and let rip a loud, prolonged fart while yelling, as if to underscore his point, “I’m farting!”

When asked to comment about his, er, outburst the next day, Dechert told us: “I apologize for using my flatulence as a medium of public commentary in your presence.”

(He also asked us to refer to him either as a “gallivanting boulevardier” or a “beer-fueled sex rocket.”)

Boris Johnson’s Naming Odyssey

What’s in a name?  A lot, if you’re Boris Johnson, and you’re naming your son.

Mrs. Johnson took to Instagram to announce the birth of their third child with this message:

Welcome to the world Frank Alfred Odysseus Johnson born 5th July at 9.15am.

(Can you guess which name my husband chose?! )

This was duly covered by the press.  Notably, The Guardian added this para to its coverage:

The former prime minister Boris Johnson is keen to be thought of as a scholar of the classics. In Greek mythology, Odysseus leaves behind his wife and child to seek adventure, encountering many other women along the way.

Real Cheese Burger

Burger King Thailand has said that it is no joke but it sure looks as if they’re poking fun at a curiously-named American entrée.  And so we have “The Real Cheese Burger” — all cheese and no meat.  Twenty slices of American cheese, to be precise.  The response?  According to CNN:

At one Burger King branch in Bangkok on Tuesday, a shift manager was overheard saying the outlet had to stop taking delivery orders so they could have enough stock left for walk-in diners.

One customer who ordered the cheesy treat told CNN she’d tried it for the first time after seeing it on social media.

Im Jeepetch, a 25-year-old IT engineer, said she loved cheese but “this was a bit too much.”

“I could only finish half of it,” she said, wiping her mouth with a tissue. “This is an insane amount of cheese added into one burger. Food is good when things are at the right combination.”

Another customer echoed that view, calling the cheeseburger “too intense.”

And this, from a piece on the Coconuts Bangkok website:

How does it taste? Pretty awful. It was the driest burger I’ve ever tasted because there was no sauce and no meat patty. I felt a bit sick to my stomach at the amount of processed cheese I was consuming. No human should ever eat this much dyed yellow cheese at once.

Kudos to anyone who can finish this atrocity. The people who approved this should be hanged and quarter-poundered.

Origins of Applause

Why do we clap when we’re impressed?  The latest bit of alternative history from Confused.com.

Link to video

A Hairy Time

A new spot for Wyoming’s Department of Health finds a creative way to sneak in a pro-vax message.

Link to video

Inspired Shopping

An amusing spot for online UK retailer Ocado shows how the inspiration to shop can come anytime, anywhere.

Link to video

PS: Apparently, Ocado surveyed over 2,000 respondents for the strangest place they had amended an online order. Responses included “at a funeral”, “up a mountain”, “in labour - on the way to the hospital”, and “sitting on top of a ride-on lawn mower”.

ChatGPT Pleasure Companion

Excerpts from a report on the ChatGPT Global News website:

Lovense, a Singapore-based sex tech company, has partnered with ChatGPT to develop an AI-powered sex toy companion known as the ‘Pleasure Companion.’ This collaboration brings together Lovense’s expertise in remote-controllable sex toys and ChatGPT’s advanced chatbot capabilities to create a unique and personalized sexual experience.

The Pleasure Companion offers two main functions to Lovense users. Firstly, it includes a ‘Story’ mode that generates erotic stories based on user prompts. Users can select characters, locations, and even the desired tone of the story, whether it’s romantic, spicy, or kinky. The Pleasure Companion will then discreetly whisper the personalized story into the user’s ears, adding an extra level of immersion and excitement.

But that’s not all the Pleasure Companion can do. It also features a ‘Pattern’ setting that allows users to customize the intensity and style of vibrations their Lovense toy produces. By simply requesting delicate or intense sensations, ChatGPT generates the desired pattern of vibration based on the user’s specifications. From there, the Lovense toy takes over, delivering pleasure tailored to the user’s mood and preferences.

Drag the Founding Fathers

In the 1800s, our founding daddies signed the Declaration of Independence wearing wigs, heels and tights. But in 2023, drag queens could be arrested for doing the same thing in public.

That’s the message of a new campaign by RuPaul’s Drag Race, the centrepiece of which is a billboard on New York’s Times Square put out on the 4th of July.

‘The sweatiest and sexiest film for tinned tomatoes’

That’s from a post on a leading ad review website.  It’s a film alright but is it a commercial?  Does the brand shown even exist?  I don’t know.  All I could find was a bare bones website for the brand that was created less than a month ago. Adding to my confusion is the film itself. As another reviewer put it:

Inspired by retro Calvin Klein spots, the film features a shirtless model rollerblading into fearless poses as a bombastic voiceover delivers a recipe for [Puttanesca] sauce. You'll be craving something after viewing, though it may not be pasta.

You have to see it to believe it.

Link to video

Headless body of man found in love hotel room

Excerpts from a Kyodo News report:

The headless body of a man has been found at a hotel in Sapporo on Japan's northernmost main island, with police continuing to search Tuesday for a person seen entering the victim's room with him.

The victim was also found naked, and police believe both the head and the clothes were taken away by the person of interest in a bid to prevent identification of the body, according to investigative sources.

An autopsy of the victim revealed that the cause of death was hemorrhagic shock and that his head was severed after death.

‘Adult’ Regional Teriyaki burgers

I’ll let this SoraNews24 report explain:

With teriyaki sauce as the star ingredient, the Teriyaki McBurger is already a pretty Japanese sandwich. McDonald’s Japan is making it even more Japanese, though, by releasing three new Teriyaki McBurger versions that each feature special ingredients representing the regional cuisines of three of Japan’s best foodie spots: Hokkaido, Osaka, and Fukuoka.

Collectively, they’ve been dubbed the Otona no Gotouchi Teriyaki, or “Adult Regional Teriyaki,” burgers. Honestly, we’re not exactly sure what makes them “adult,” as two of the three foods serving as inspiration for the burgers are also perennially popular with kids.

Arrested during job interview with Sheriff’s department

To quote from a news report out of Indiana:

According to police, Nicole Sniadecki, 39, came to the Marshall County Sheriff’s Department around 8:45 a.m. for a scheduled meeting related to her inquiry into employment with the Sheriff’s Department.

While Sniadecki was speaking, police noticed she had slurred speech and an odor commonly associated with alcohol consumption coming from her breath. That’s when she reportedly admitted to police that she drank that morning prior to driving to the Sheriff’s Department.

A certified breath test found Sniadecki to be nearly twice the legal limit (.158). She was taken to the Marshall County Jail for operating a vehicle while intoxicated and given a cash bond of $1,500.

Bagging the Competition

France-based airline Corsair has found the perfect place to get its message across in a way that it can’t be missed by its target audience- on suitcases in the baggage claim carousels of its competitors. This is how it explains the idea:

The creative idea was to avoid all conventional media while attracting the maximum attention. When getting off the plane, passengers flock to baggage claim, where what they're focused on the most is getting their suitcases, checking each bag that comes through to see if it's theirs – so, why not take advantage of this by using competitors’ luggage carousels to get a few messages across?

Link to campaign video

RIP Alan Arkin

Argo (2012)
  - Script Negotiations