Kids, clarified
Pizza Hut UK adds a dash of humour to its ‘Kids Eat Free’ promotion.
There’s also this:
THE PIZZA HUT OFFICIAL GOAT POLICY
To ensure the comfort, safety, and dining experience of all guests, the following Goat Policy applies at all times.
The management welcomes customers from all walks of life. However, goats, whether domestic, wild, mountain, miniature, pygmy, dairy, cashmere, angora, boer, alpine, saanen, nubian, toggenburg, fainting or otherwise caprine in nature, are not permitted to participate in promotions intended for human customers unless expressly stated.
For the avoidance of doubt, a goat remains a goat regardless of size, age, hairstyle, confidence level or choice of accessories. The addition of a lead, collar, jumper, raincoat, school uniform, bow tie, spectacles, trainers, backpack, birthday hat or novelty moustache does not alter its taxonomic classification.
Customers must not:
- Register a goat as a child.
- Present a goat as a qualifying guest.
- Attempt to order from the children’s menu on behalf of a goat.
- Argue that a goat is ‘basically one of the family’.
- Claim that a goat has ‘excellent table manners’ as grounds for an exception.
- Introduce a goat through the main entrance, side entrance, emergency exit, kitchen window or ventilation system, or disguised inside an oversized coat. Goats found browsing decorative plants, sampling menus, investigating table legs, standing on furniture, attempting to negotiate with staff, chewing promotional materials or expressing unusually strong opinions regarding pizza toppings may be politely escorted from the premises.
Management accepts no responsibility for:
- Missing napkins subsequently discovered to have been eaten.
- Shoelaces that become unexpectedly shorter.
- Flower displays that become significantly less floral.
- Customers who insist they ‘only looked away for a second’.
- Any philosophical debate concerning whether goats would enjoy stuffed crust.
Exceptions to this policy may only be granted where required by applicable law. Such exceptions do not extend to emotional support goats, motivational goats, office goats, celebrity goats, influencer goats, pirate goats, detective goats, goats wearing fake glasses or goats that can allegedly ‘understand English’.
Any disputes concerning the species of an individual shall be determined solely by management.
Pizza Hut UK x
