Infrequently Asked Questions about Oatmilk

The website of oat milk brand Oatly is packed with tongue-in-cheek wordplay.  Someone recently drew my attention to a section titled ‘Infrequently Asked Questions Concerning Oatmilk’ which is explained as “the only resource you need for answers to questions you've probably never had about the original oat drink.”  Here’s a short selection:

“Can I get an electric vehicle tax credit for buying oatmilk?”

We don’t want so say no and we don't want to say yes, but unless you can figure out a way to drive oatmilk, we're going with no.

“Is oatmilk affected by full moons?”

A fair ask and while we stall in answering it, you may be interested in this awkward segue: on average, oatmilk has a lower climate impact than cow milk, and conceivably, possibly, is less affected by full moons, if it at all.

“Will cows be angry or vengeful if I start using oatmilk?”

We’ve done literally no research on this whatsoever but feel confident in saying that cows really won’t know the difference.

“Is oatmilk approved by The Academy of American Poets?”

Transparency is an extremely big deal to us as you know, so we'll say this: The Academy of American Poets has not not approved oatmilk, but they have approved us using their name in this Infrequently Asked Question, which is pretty cool of them.