Pig Penned!

From Pennsylvania: a local police department has put out a delightful 600+ word account of a quest to capture a pig, that deserves to be read in full.  Some excerpts:

This morning, around 0930hrs, a resident of the 900 block of Elm Ave called to report that an enormous pig was napping under his trampoline in the backyard. Three Manheim Township police officers and one civilian police aide, with over 40 years of experience, arrived and found that, yes- this is a pig. And he's enormous. So, now what?

Typically, 40 years of combined police experience will solve almost any problem quickly. And had this been a dog or cat, it would have been resolved within the hour. But livestock on the loose? Not exactly in our wheelhouse. We don't have the equipment to catch, contain, or even transport a hog. And where would we transport it to, even if we did have those things? The butcher shop?

Fortunately, this pig- who by now we had named "Hamilton", seemed pretty tired, as he had settled down for a nap in a shady corner of the mostly fenced-in yard. Note- "mostly" fenced-in yard. That becomes very relevant in a moment.

Lancaster Farm Sanctuary personnel arrived and began formulating a plan to contain Hamilton and direct him into the back of their farm van, primarily by bribing him with food. Hamilton wasn't really on board with this plan and found the one spot in that mostly fenced yard that wasn't mostly fenced, to make his escape back to the streets of Hamilton Park. A foot pursuit of the escaped swine ensued, and yes, we see the irony in 3 cops chasing a pig. As it turns out, Hamilton wasn't as tired as we thought because we're fairly certain he's the fastest pig alive. After nearly being struck by a passing Tesla on Atkins Ave, Hamilton made a break for the open parking lot along West St and into another fenced-in area...which happened to be the courtyard of Pediatric Specialty Care on Rider Ave. Great. An out-of-control farm animal in the play area of a Pediatric medical facility. What could go wrong?

After about 20 minutes of chasing Hamilton around inside the courtyard, probably much to the amusement of the staff inside Pediatric Specialty Care, we were able to secure Hamilton in a dog crate, load him into the back of the Sanctuary van. He was transported to their farm, where he will live out his days, telling stories to the other rescued farm animals about how he was saved from his “life on the streets.”

Sourced via CRIMEWATCH®: https://lancaster.crimewatchpa.com/manheimtwppd/53783/post/pig-penned