Florida cops searching for ‘Mr. Clean’ and ‘Ms. Dookie’

They’re wanted in connection with a Family Dollar store robbery, and those monikers are a reference to their choices and actions during the course of the robbery. To quote from a rather expressive news report:

Police in Polk County, Florida are looking for a man and a woman who stole around $500 worth of cleaning supplies from a Family Dollar store last month.  And it’s the EMPLOYEES who really needed those cleaning supplies.

Because, while the guy was collecting the cleaning supplies in a cart and wheeling them out . . . the woman distracted the staff by RELIEVING HERSELF right on the floor of the store.  (???)

There aren’t any details, thankfully, but the police are referring to them as “Mr. Clean and Ms. Dookie” . . . so it’s very possible that she went #2.

And this is how some of that was reported on the website of the sheriff’s office:

The suspects were a man and a woman, and they played different roles as they conspired in their retail theft. Very different roles.

The man walked around the store gathering nearly $500 worth of merchandise (like lots of Gain, Tide, and Clorox products) whilst the woman caused a distraction for employees by using the restroom...without going to the restroom. The floor was her restroom. And an employee had to clean that...stuff up.

We....kid you not.