Man breaks into house… to avoid facing wife at home

The incident aside, it is the little details of what happened, as well as the manner in which it was reported by the Polk County Sheriff’s office (PCSO) in Florida, that make it very noteworthy:

The following story is kind of like a Polk County version of “Goldilocks and the 3 Bears,” but since there aren’t too many bears in Polk County, we’re just going to work around that in our own way. So, bear with us.

Our story begins at a residence bearing north of the city of Davenport.

The homeowner wasn’t going to be around for a while, so he asked his neighbor to bear the responsibility of watching over the house. That neighbor did a fantastic job too.

One night, the neighbor saw lights going on and off within the house, so he called the homeowner, who in turn contacted the PCSO.

Do you think the deputies found someone inside the house? Well, does a bear sit in the woods?

Deputies went to the residence and found Joe inside, cooking, and he had just finished filling the tub for a bath. We assume the bath temperature was not too hot, nor too cold, but juuuuust right.

Joe identified himself, and admitted that not only did he not have permission to be there, he also had no idea who owned the house.

Joe told deputies that he had gotten in a fight with his wife, and he didn’t want to go home, so he chose to burgle someone else’s home instead. It’s one of those things where you just have to grin and bear it.

There… we made it through the story and you barely even noticed the lack of bears.