McNapping McFelony

A Facebook post by a local police department in Pennsylvania:

RONALD MCDONALD IS MISSING!

Yesterday, a few unidentified suspects waltzed into McDonald’s and walked out with RONALD McDONALD himself.

We’re not clowning around. This was a full-blown McNapping.

Ronald was last seen smiling, as usual, unaware of the betrayal. Witnesses say he didn’t even put up a fight.

To the suspects:

We get it — times are tough, and therapy is expensive. But kidnapping a plastic icon of joy? That’s a McFelony.

To the public:

If you see Ronald out in the wild — maybe at a party, passenger seat of a car, or sitting awkwardly in someone’s yard — please call us at 570-669-9111.

In all seriousness, we are looking to identify these individuals. Please contact the Nesquehoning Police Department if you have any information. Thank you.