Man arrested after ‘sexual performance’ with vacuum cleaner

To quote from a police report out of Florida:

On January 22, 2026, Deputies from the Osceola County Sheriff's Office responded to Grassendale Street, in the Windsor Hills Resort, Kissimmee, Fl. for reports of a man exposing his sexual organs in front of a residence. The victims that observed this behavior provided a statement and a cell phone recording of a male, partially clothed, in front of a residence, engaged in a sexual performance with a vacuum cleaner.

To quote from the coverage of the news on Boing Boing:

The make and model of the appliance were not disclosed in news reports. Options would likely center on portable models with traditional circular hoses, such as cordless wet/dry shop models from Ryobi, Milwaukee and DeWalt; home models tend to have crevice tools, wands or other attachments not obviously compatible with human genitalia. That said, the nature of the sexual performance was not specified, either, leaving open more exotic possibilities.