Beat Cancer Off

It’s a singular campaign from a singularly named (NSFW) cancer non-profit.  As explained in the SFW press release:

Nonprofit cancer organization FCancer, together with VML Health, has launched "Beat Cancer Off," a bold new awareness campaign built around a striking scientific insight: men who ejaculate 21 or more times per month may reduce their risk of prostate cancer by up to 22%, according to the landmark Health Professionals Follow-up Study (HPFS) - one of the largest and longest-running studies of its kind.

At the heart of the campaign is an animated music film that transforms taboo language into a catchy, shareable anthem. The original song blends crooner-style musical energy with irreverent humor, weaving together global euphemisms for male masturbation — from "spank the monkey" and "choke the chicken" to "peeling the banana," "squeeze the juice," "one man band practice," "mash the potatoes," "Shiko Shiko Suru," and "Oliare il meccanismo." Each euphemism is interpreted with a distinct illustration style, creating a fast-moving, global tapestry of "code words" for masturbation. The film closes with a simple reminder: ejaculating 21+ times a month may help reduce the risk of prostate cancer and directs viewers to learn more about the science and the disease.

Link to video

‘A quest for enhanced ejaculations’

Some quoteworthy excerpts from a piece on the GQ website about the subreddit r/CumBiggerLoads:

 

Both porn and a growing interest in self-optimization are leading men on a quest for enhanced ejaculations.

Some of the most important discoveries in medicine came from brave people experimenting on themselves. Jonas Salk tested his polio vaccine on himself and his family. Isaac Newton poked a blunt needle into his own eye socket to understand how we see light. And using their own bodies as test subjects, the Redditors on r/CumBiggerLoads have determined that a combination of zinc, pygeum, L-citrulline, and lecithin is the “holy grail of cum.”

Most nutmaxxers get off on the sight of their own large loads and their partners’ reaction to them. Facials are a big part of their life. “More volume means more of a visual spectacle,” says Marcus, the prolific r/CumBiggerLoads poster.

Link to full article:
Meet the Nutmaxxers Obsessed With Shooting Bigger Loads

‘A whole new Disney’

Dutch comedian Arjen Lubach’s roast is brilliant and savage.

Link to video (NSFW)

Malört tastes like…

The notorious wormwood-based schnapps is a challenge to drink, and its undefinable unsavoriness is an even greater challenge to communicate.

That’s from a piece in Chicago magazine a few years ago that compiled a list of things that various people had said about the taste of Jeppson’s Malört liqueur.  It included noteworthy opinions such as these:

It tastes like pencil shavings and heartbreak.

It tastes like someone vomited up their gin and now you're drinking it from a shoe.

It’s like swallowing a burnt condom full of gas.

Well, the brand is now formally inviting descriptions that may well  be used on its label.  To set the ball rolling, it has put out a campaign with some very NSFW comparisons.

Couch slander, now a campaign ad (NSFW)

It started with a baseless rumour on social media about J.D. Vance that went viral, and then made news headlines.

Things escalated when John Oliver chimed in, offering ‘reasons’ for the widespread interest, as well as his own personal take.

Somewhere along the line, the Democrats first made veiled references, then Tim Walz saw an opportunity to dish out a sly one-liner on the campaign trail.

Which brings me to this campaign ad—an expletive-laced promotion for a spoof product, that is the brainchild of creative agency Quality Meats. In contrast to the tongue-in-cheek humour of everything before it, this is a lot more direct and in-your-face.

Link to video

Packed Car, Packed Headline (NSFW)