Bells and Investing
One of the strangest investing commercials that I have ever seen.
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Flush Your Ex
Sustainable toilet paper brand, Who Gives a Crap, has announced a Valentine’s Day campaign that invites you to recycle love letters from you ex into toilet paper. To quote from the campaign website:
Turn your ex’s empty promises into something that’s actually useful this Valentine's Day. Mail us your old love letters and we'll turn them into 100% recycled toilet paper!
Send us your cursed correspondence — the sappy compliments, bad poetry, any other paper remnants taking up psychic space in your sock drawer — and we'll deliver it to our production facilities to be transformed into eco-friendly TP.
Because nothing says closure like knowing that someone, somewhere is putting those sweet nothings exactly where they belong.
Getting High with ChatGPT
An excerpt from an amusing piece posted on the Vice website:
When asked are there any good things about cocaine? [ChatGPT] replied: “No, there are no good things about cocaine use”, but a few seconds later in response to me asking what does taking cocaine feel like? top of the list was: “Euphoria: A feeling of intense happiness and well-being.” Hmm. Something makes me think this robot is as confused as some people are.
However, ChatGPT was pretty good at describing what taking MDMA feels like: “feelings of euphoria, increased empathy, heightened emotions, and increased energy. Some people may also experience changes in perception, such as brighter colours or increased sensory sensitivity. However, it is important to note that the effects of MDMA can vary greatly depending on the person and the dose, and can also include negative effects such as anxiety.”
When I asked, can drugs make people feel happy? ChatGPT thought a bit, and said “yes, drugs can make people happy, at least in the short term”.
The Indulgence of Seniors
In a new spot for Saga Holidays, actor Nicholas Farrell oozes wry wit to shatter stereotypes of how seniors enjoy their outings.
Wanted by Interpol… for Exam Cheating
To quote from a CNN report:
Think “international manhunt” and the image that likely springs to mind is that of a hardened criminal like a murderer, bank robber or billion-dollar fraudster – not the middle-aged boss of a high school tuition center.
But that’s who’s at the center of a Red Notice issued this week by the International Criminal Police Organization, or Interpol, which facilitates police cooperation between 194 countries.
Poh Yuan Nie, 57, is thought to have fled Singapore after masterminding an elaborate cheating scam during the Southeast Asian country’s annual GCE O Level examinations, which students take during their final year of high school.
Poh failed to surrender to police after a court sentenced her to four years in prison for running the scam, in which she and three of her tutors fed answers to students using a system of bodycams, earphones and bluetooth devices.
No kidding, no clowning
A new spot for Ocean Spray takes inspiration from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off in quite an unexpected way.
Hate your colleagues? You may have a job
From Ireland: a Dublin restaurant is making news for a rather unusual hiring ad on Instagram.
The ad was accompanied with this post:
Is it even January if you don’t hate your colleagues, hate your manager, hate your job, hate your boss, hate looking at yourself in the mirror for being a useless sack of shit stuck in a shitty fucking job?
Come hate us instead !
And this, from its website:
Why Join Us ?
Beggars can’t be choosers!
Seriously though……..
-We’ll value you and help you live your best life
– We are opening our new venue calmly, you won’t be walking into a war zone
-We’ll invest in you and take your development and growth seriously
-We are a fun yet steady pair of hands
-We are a place you can be proud to work in
-It’s a creative space, we are very inclusive, there’s a place for everybody here(except for dickheads)
– We don’t want drones we want smiles and warmth and good colleagues
-We want you to enjoy your time off
-We care about your life outside work
Suit, Countersuit over Romantic Rejection
To quote from a news report out of Singapore:
A man who was rejected romantically by a woman has launched two lawsuits against her for failing to improve their relationship and for the emotional trauma he suffered and other impacts on his life.
Mr K Kawshigan filed one suit against Ms Nora Tan Shu Mei in the Magistrate's Court for S$22,000 in damages, for purportedly breaching an agreement to improve their relationship.
The second was filed in the High Court for S$3 million, for the emotional trauma he allegedly suffered after finding out that she saw him only as a friend.
A few hours later, we had an update that Ms. Nora Tan Shu Mei was countersuing Mr. Kawshigan “for expenses she incurred to protect herself from his purported harassment.”
According to court documents obtained by CNA, Ms Nora Tan Shu Mei installed a digital door viewer, an alarm sensor and a smart video doorbell to ensure her safety from Mr K Kawshigan.
She is seeking damages from him for about S$480 for installing such equipment, as well as another S$1,000 for expenses incurred while engaging in counselling and "healing" sessions at his request.
She is also seeking damages for expenses to be incurred for her own future counselling sessions.
Mystery of the ‘Fully Clothed Bathing Burglar’
Excerpts from an AP News report:
Fully clothed bathing burglar found in Seattle bathroom
A man suspected of breaking into a Seattle home has refused to come clean about his intentions, even though police found him fully clothed in a bathtub filled with water.
“The man was clothed but very wet, and the bathtub was full of water,” police said in a statement.
The 27-year-old man was arrested for residential burglary and refused to explain his actions, including his choice of a bathing spot, police said.
Valentine’s Day Cockroach Promotions
Cockroach-centered Valentine’s Day promotions by zoos appear to be expanding and spreading.
Bronx Zoo’s ‘Name a Roach’ promotion, now in its twelfth year, started as a way to simply name a cockroach after someone special but now has a host of add-ons that include a “Valentine's Virtual Encounter” with a roach.
In contrast, San Antonio Zoo’s annual event ‘Cry Me a Cockroach’, now in its fourth year, has moved on from calling itself an opportunity to mend one’s broken heart to labelling itself as a conservancy fundraiser.
In addition to those zoos, Toronto Zoo announced a promotion that, like Bronx Zoo, invites you to give goosebumps to someone, but with a notable difference.
Are you being slurred?
From New Zealand: a new campaign for McDonald’s let’s us in on the inebriated utterances of its late-night patrons.
Knitwear that helps evade Facial Recognition
From Italy: a clothing startup is making news for a range of garments that supposedly help you avoid being detected by facial recognition technology. To quote from one report:
An Italian clothing line, Cap_able, just released a collection of absolutely outlandish knits, all designed with the goal of fooling facial recognition software — no mask or face painting required.
The trick? Scrambled images of dogs, zebras and giraffes, knitted into the fabric with the specific goal of tricking facial scanning algorithms to identify the wrong species.
‘Locked-in’ Pizza
From Canada: a new spot for fast-food chain Pizza Pizza mines comedy gold from the clichéd pitches of mortgage lenders and other financial-service firms.
Dead-on Provocation
It’s a life insurance brand with a provocative name— DeadHappy. Add to that a provocative logo— a laughing skull— and a provocative strapline— “Life insurance to die for”— and you might think that there would be little room for any more provocation. Well, you’d be wrong.
A recent ad from the brand— now retracted with an apology— carried the headline “Life Insurance— Because you never know who your doctor might be”. Presumably to make sure that the message in that was clearly understood, the ad featured a mugshot of a real-life doctor who was found guilty of murdering over a dozen patients under his care.
Travel Reviews… by horses
In sharp contrast to the cheeky promotion from Iceland last year, for the people in Lexington, horse tourism (or whatever you want to call it) is no laughing matter. We saw it when they portentously pitched yoga classes taught by horses. We get to see it once again, in a new campaign that involves a psychic medium who gives us “the unbiased opinions of native and visiting thoroughbreds”.
‘Phantom Pooper’ and a ‘Shoplifting Excursion’
A couple of delightfully-worded Facebook posts recently put out by the Tukwila Police Department in Washington state, USA.
Dear Jeremiah,
You were in such a hurry to leave after your shoplifting excursion about 20 minutes ago that you left your backpack and wallet with your ID and multiple stolen credit cards behind.
Hopefully the address on your license is correct as that will be the one the coupon for “One Free Court Appearance” that will be sent to regarding the Theft 3rd Degree charges that are being filed. There is also the small issue of your collection of numerous warrants out of four different cities and two counties that will need to be addressed at some point.
Feel free to come down to our station to pick up your wallet and backpack at your convenience #itsalittlebitofatrap. At that time, we can also discuss the burglary tools that were discovered in your bag that probably had something to do with your recent burglary conviction.
Burglary Suspect Leaves DNA Sample at the Scene
Things got a little stinky on Monday night at the Tukwila Community Center after the Phantom Pooper broke into an administrative office and proceeded to steal an iPad and charging cable along with a laptop. For reasons unknown, the suspect decided to leave behind a stool sample in a sink rather than dispose of the evidence in the toilet.
In addition to the DNA sample left at the scene, the suspect left some great digital forensic evidence for us when they merged the stolen laptop’s Apple account with their own personal account. Needless to say, we do not see a lengthy or prosperous criminal career in the field of hacking for the suspect. Said suspect is encouraged to (wash his hands with soap) then come down to our station to return the stolen items and discuss his options to save everyone some time.
Cow Verdict
To quote from a news report out of India:
A court in Tapi, Gujarat recently sentenced a youth to life imprisonment for illegally transporting cattle from Maharashtra, while noting that all of Earth's problems will be solved if cow slaughter is prevented.
In an order passed in November, Principal District Judge Samir Vinodchandra Vyas paid tribute to the importance of cows to the entire Universe.
"Cow is not only an animal but it is mother that is why it is given the name of mother. None is as grateful as a cow. A cow is the living planet of 68 crore holy places and 33 crore gods. The obligation of cow on the entire Universe defies description. The day when no drop of blood of cow drops on the earth all problems of earth will be solved and the well being of the earth will be established..."
Peanut Butter Kinks
Reese’s kicks off a new campaign in the UK with a spot that invites you to give in to some SFW kinkiness.
Frenchness, pre-empted
From France: a wacky ad with, arguably, a wackier explanation.
I suggest you first watch the ad: link to video.
Then consider this explanation accompanying the ad:
We could have organised tastings in Parisian grocery shops to convince you that our pasta is the best.
We thought of inviting you to a recycling workshop to show you how unique our 100% paper packaging is.
We even considered asking the Italians whether they preferred Linguine or Coquillettes.
But no. We preferred to revive the irreverent, even slightly punk, but still contemporary, side of Lustucru, by imagining a campaign with French agency Artefact 3000 in Korean, German and Spanish to pre-empt our Frenchness!
Pizza dipped in Bacon Milkshake
That’s a recommendation from Domino’s Japan. In case you suspect it is a case of something being lost in translation, the press release carries this helpful image:
As for that milkshake, consider this description from the English version of the Domino’s website:
A premium milkshake made by hand in the store using ice cream, milk, and…bacon?! It might sound crazy, but we bet you'll love it!