To quote from a news report out of India:
Cows and other bovines will not be referred to as 'strays' in Rajasthan, as the term is 'insulting' and 'inappropriate', according to a new order passed by the state government. As per the new order, from now on, the use of words like 'helpless' or 'destitute would be encouraged for cows and other bovines that are roaming on their own.
Unmatched sparkle, and smart and witty to boot.
Tootsie (1982)
- Sandy freaks out
From her Letterman appearances: Academy Awards dilemma
On Conan: Nudity differences
On Multiple Sclerosis, and living with it (from her autobiography):
MS is a sneaky disease. Like some of my boyfriends, it has a tendency to show up at the most awkward times and then to disappear entirely.
I like to say MS is to disease what Enron is to accounting. No rules. It’s a big fat cheater.
I really do count my blessings. At least I used to; now I get so tired, I have a woman come in once a week and count them for me.
From France: meat alternative brand La Vie has released its first television commercial.
That’s from the headline of a news report out of Ontario, Canada. The same news was captioned in another paper with this headline:
'Dancing' suspect charged with impaired driving
Here’s what the latter report tells us about what really happened:
An Elliot Lake man is facing multiple charges after an early morning complaint Thursday on Highland Place.
At around 5:30 a.m., Ontario Provincial Police were told a man was slumped over the steering wheel of a blue minivan while the motor was running.
Arriving officers tried to speak with the man, but they say he ignored them while dancing to music inside the vehicle.
“He then proceeded to urinate all over the steering wheel and driver's seat area,” OPP said in a news release.
The man continued to be uncooperative, the OPP said, but eventually entry was gained and the man safely arrested.
“In his possession was suspected fentanyl, crack cocaine, and crack pipes,” police said. “There was also an open bottle of rum and cans of beer, both empty and full, inside the van.”
The minivan was subsequently towed and impounded.
Kevin Mikkelsen, 49, from Elliot Lake was charged with impaired driving over 80 mgs, driving with pot readily available, and possession of hard drugs.
A hilarious spot for the latest edition of Getty Museum’s Southern California arts event, PST Art.
As explained in a news report on the HuffPost website:
A mysterious bronze-colored monument was installed Thursday morning across the street from the U.S. Capitol grounds “honoring” the people behind the Jan. 6 insurrection with a massive turd.
The monument depicts an emoji-style pile of poop sitting on a desk with then-House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s (D-Calif.) nameplate next to it and a plaque underneath that reads:
This memorial honors the brave men and women who broke into the United States Capitol on January 6, 2021 to loot, urinate and defecate throughout those hallowed halls in order to overturn an election.
President Trump celebrates these heroes of January 6th as “unbelievable patriots” and “warriors.” This monument stands as testament to their daring sacrifice and lasting legacy.
And for those who need more context:
The installation is taking aim at the mob of Donald Trump’s supporters who, egged on by the then-president’s lies, broke into the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, in a failed effort to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election.
Some people in this mob reportedly spread their feces throughout several hallways and offices in the U.S. Capitol.
A Trump supporter named Francis Connor claimed in an Instagram message with other rioters that he had defecated on Pelosi’s desk. It’s not clear whether he actually did.
I’ll let the press release explain:
Did you ever think you'd use the expression, "I could just cozy up to the sound of fried chicken?" Well, from ASMR social media channels to film and television production set rumors, the internet has recently unearthed the humorous phenomenon that the sound of cooking fried chicken sounds almost identical to the soothing, sleep-inducing sound of rain falling.
To further investigate, Hatch, a sleep wellness company that creates premium sleep audio content, and KFC®, the "OG" of fried chicken, have come together to release a new "Kentucky Fried Chicken Rain" content channel that can help lull you to sleep. The custom sound is available on Restore 2 smart sleep devices with a Hatch+ premium content subscription beginning today. Fried chicken and ASMR lovers will also be able to access the new "Kentucky Fried Chicken Rain" sound on the Hatch for Sleep and KFC YouTube channels as well as the Hatch for Sleep Spotify page.
The inspiration for the content channel came straight from Louisville, KY, where Hatch visited KFC's headquarters and test kitchen to learn more about and capture the real sound of fried chicken. Hatch employees worked alongside KFC's food innovation team to record the soothing sounds of frying KFC's new Original Recipe® Tenders.
Last week a local police department in Oregon put out a Facebook post with this announcement:
Hide & Seek with a Cop!
We have created a new community event this year and we would love to have you join us. It’s basically your only chance to run from the cops without consequences!
As elaborated in a news report, the event would involve “armed and uniformed police officers” who would “try to tag teenagers and adults as they run through a wooded park at night”. The report extensively quoted the department’s public information officer Paul Mattson III, explaining the rationale for some of those choices.
If the officers are not uniformed or armed, it defeats the goal of helping community members overcome fear of interacting with officers as they are, Mattson said.
Also according to the report:
Participants will have to sign a liability waiver, Mattson said. Asked about whether it was a safety risk to have officers armed during the event, Mattson said that officers’ guns are “going to be in their holsters like they normally would, just like if we were chasing a suspect.”
And these are some of the comments that came up on Facebook:
I call it hide and seek they call it resisting arrest
Just asking for a friend. Can criminals play this game and if so do they get to run away Scott free
Nawww, I've seen this episode of cops before.... After a while, you bring in helicopters, dogs, and someone gets maced or shot at the end.... Not playing that game...
So you didn't think about how traumatizing interactions with cops with guns have been? You set this up as a game? Have you actually tried community outreach and sensitivity training?
Intriguing idea, but I don’t think that citizens being more afraid of being killed by cops than by zombies or serial killers is the flex you think it is.
Every time I try to play this game I get nailed with extra charges like “fleeing” or “resisting”
Are you using the dogs?
I have never had a formal invitation before...
From New Zealand: as the pic of a Dunedin airport signboard, with a 3-minute ‘time limit’ on hugging, went viral, it seems that a number of people took it seriously, with some even expressing outrage over it. So I thought it worth posting excerpts of what the airport’s CEO said, two weeks ago, in a radio interview (as accurately as I could transcribe).
We thought we’d have a bit of fun with this because often in the airport drop-off locations, the messaging can be quite intense. You know, you're going to get fined, you're going to get clamped, you need to move your car, go and park in the car park. Where's your time to have fun with it? And actually as an airport, those drop-off locations are common locations for those farewells. But actually, let's have a bit of fun with it. Let's talk about a time limit for your hugs. Three minutes. If you want a more fonder farewell, go to the car park. You know, park there, you get 15 minutes free in the car park anyway.
In fact, the whole ‘interview’ between RNZ’s Lisa Owen and the airport CEO Dan De Bono was largely like cheerful banter. Consider this exchange;
Q: Right, so they get up to three minutes. I mean, what happens? Does someone come along and flash a badge and say, I'm with the hug police?
A: That would actually be quite fun. No, all our team do are ask them to politely move on to car park to create some space for others. So it's nothing more than that. We're not going to call the hug police. Yeah, that would be bonkers.
Q: I'm just wondering, Dan, this is like a confessional. Have some people been getting a bit amorous?
A: Sometimes, yeah. I don't want to confess on any of this, but I've certainly, you know, our team has seen interesting things go on in the car park over many years. And airports are those kind of hotbeds of emotion of people arriving and departing. But, you know, if you want a fonder farewell, feel free to use the car park.
To quote from a post on the Facebook page of a local police department in Michigan:
While investigating a traffic hazard, it was found a delivery truck lost its load. The road was cleared but most of the Krispy Kreme donuts were lost. Our officers are still grieving but will press on.
St John Ambulance has released what it describes as “the world’s first educational bra” — part of a campaign intended to help people shed inhibitions about giving chest compressions to a woman in cardiac arrest in public. To quote from the charity’s website:
Our research shows one in three people are afraid to give CPR to a woman in public because they are worried about touching breasts.
This has got to change!
We've created the world’s first educational bra - the CPR Bra - which is designed to close the gender survival gap and reassure people that taking fast action is the right thing to do to save a life regardless of gender. It features the message ‘It’s OK to Save My Life’ on the front, along with a reminder of the steps needed to respond to a cardiac arrest, as every second counts.
PS: The news of the campaign was reported on the Marketing Beat website with this headline:
St John Ambulance campaign says touch a boob, save a life
The term ‘made to order’ took on a very literal meaning in a recent promotion by McDonald’s in Sweden. To quote from one report:
McDonald’s Sweden just found a new way to let fans wear their love for fast food on their sleeves—literally. The fast-food giant allowed festivalgoers to turn their regular McDonald’s orders into custom merch.
The design was as personal as it gets—a receipt featuring each person’s unique McDonald’s favorites, printed right onto a minimalist, “Made to Order” paper white T-shirt.
This playful stunt took place during a summer festival tour, where McDonald’s installed ordering kiosks that did more than just print out receipts. After selecting their meals, fans could watch as their proof of order was printed in real-time onto a T-shirt, creating a one-of-a-kind piece of McDonald’s memorabilia akin to band tees.
The Plant Based Foods Association has released a 10,000 word leaflet about all the “epic benefits” that consuming plant-based foods may cause that starts with this ‘advice’:
If you’re not grinning from ear to ear after three days of trying all the exciting new plant-based flavors, you should definitely chat with a Plant-Based Food Provider (PBFP).
The product is intended for extended-term use only. You can take the lowest effective bite size for the shortest time necessary at first, but buckle in because once you get a taste you’ll be obsessed with plant-based for life, and your kids will be obsessed with plant-based, and your kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids will be obsessed with plant-based, and so on until forever.
You should not consume plant-based for longer than 3 days without thanking your Plant-Based Food Provider (PBFP).
If symptoms of food boredom improve rapidly consult your Plant-Based Food Provider (PBFP) immediately. Or, if you begin to experience symptoms so amazing they cause your mind to be blown, consult your Plant-Based Food Provider (PBFP) immediately and tell them how amazing they are.
And here’s a short selection of the ‘symptoms’:
An unforgettable awakening of senses you didn’t even know you had.
A rush of joy exploding through your body with every bite.
Trouble enjoying alone time with your plant-based food, as everyone you’re around will want a bite of your food.
Your delivery person wanting to become your best friend and stay at your house forever because you have so many good plant-based food options.
Children are at increased risk of being extremely excited by plant-based foods because they usually don’t even know it’s plant-based and just love the taste.
In general, the habitual use of several sorts of plant-based food can lead to amazing, lasting advantages such as realizing that life itself is just one big grocery store full of experiences to pick off the shelves and that the best ones are plant-based meats, cheeses, milk, spreads, and obviously your favorite appetizers.
As part of the campaign, there’s also a pharma-style commercial.
From Australia: Toyota finds a fun way to make the point that there are utes, and then there is the HiLux.
I’ll let this NY Post report explain:
A Georgia sheriff’s department clearing a highway in Davisboro after Hurricane Helene found a large stash of drugs and has cordially invited its rightful owner to come retrieve it.
“While in Davisboro last week during storm response, deputies located these items in a clearing off Highway 231 near Washington State Prison,” the Washington County Sheriff’s Office wrote in a Facebook post dripping with sarcasm.
“If you would like to claim ownership of these packages, please come see us at 733 Kaolin Road, Sandersville, Georgia,” the post read, under the heading “Lost and Found Property.”
A new spot for UK retailer Currys shows what in-store shopping might feel like, for “diehard online shoppers”.
And a delightful one at that, starring in a series of new spots for Pluto TV.
That’s the title of a video report released by a local sheriff’s office in Washington state, USA, about a woman who called for help after she was surrounded by about a hundred raccoons and was “forced to run away in her car to escape the furry, and very hungry creatures”. As explained more elaborately in another news report:
Kevin McCarty, a spokesperson for the Kitsap County Sheriff, said the woman called deputies Thursday because about 100 raccoons outside her home were "demanding food."
The woman told deputies she started feeding raccoons around her house about 35 years ago without any problems.
Six weeks ago, the population of raccoons “exploded.” Now, the animals surround her home day and night hoping for a meal.
“Somehow the word got out in raccoon land and they all showed up to her house expecting a meal,” McCarty said.
Kitsap deputies responded to the woman's home and were startled by what they saw.
“They were shocked,” McCarty said. “They had never seen that many raccoons in one place. Nobody ever remembers being surrounded by a swarm of raccoons. This was a first.”
A new campaign that is timed with the release of the sequel of Joker, followed by the sequel of Smile.
It’s the latest celebrity-starring spot for Switzerland Tourism and this time, along with Roger Federer, we get a pleasantly unhinged Mads Mikkelsen.
From Belgium: the local distributor of Kodak has launched a tool to help dementia patients transform their memories into images. To quote from the website:
In short, ‘Memory Shots’ is a digital tool to help trigger dementia patients’ memories of which no photographs exist, to recollect and immortalize such preserved memories in newly generated pictures, as an innovative added part to the existing ‘Reminiscence therapy’. As such, “Memory Shots” allows to reconnect and stimulates interaction with patients suffering of dementia.
The topic came up on the latest episode of Kelly Ripa’s podcast, where she had director Barry Sonnenfeld as her guest. Ripa asked Sonnenfeld for his “number one crazy story” from the ‘Men in Black’ franchise. He went on to talk about an instance when filming had to be suspended after Will Smith farted while in a “hermetically sealed” contraption with Tommy Lee Jones. This is part of what he said:
Will Smith is a farter. It’s just some people are. And you really don’t wanna be inside a very small hermetically sealed space with a Will Smith fart. You don’t even wanna be sitting next to him at the Disney ranch.
Notably, after he had narrated this incident, Ripa had this to ask:
Did the stench emit out, like, were you able to smell it?
And this:
You think he’s, like, on one of those high protein diets?
Last week, Oklahoma Highway Patrol put out this post explaining the rather strange circumstances of an arrest that they made.
Here’s one you don’t see everyday. Trooper Ryan Long #541 arrested Kody Adams earlier this week. Adams was at a gas station in Stillwater asking people for a ride to Pawnee County for his court date. When he couldn’t find a ride, he decided to hop in an unoccupied LifeNet ambulance supervisor vehicle that had been left running. Trooper Long caught him at the court house walking in after Adams ditched the vehicle. Trooper Long arrested him after he admitted to “borrowing” the vehicle, took him up to his court date and then took him right back to Payne County.
And guess what the court date was for??? Possession of a stolen vehicle.
And here’s an extract from one noteworthy comment to that post:
The irony of the situation is vaguely amusing, but the reality of someone having so few options that they feel desperate enough to do this is really sad.
