Lost and Found Oddities

Travelodge Hotels has released its 2022 Lost and Found inventory report and, as one might expect, there are quite a few head-scratching entries.  These include a sleigh full of Christmas presents, a life size cut-out of Jürgen Klopp, a 5 foot Chinese temple birdhouse, an oxygen tank, and a life size skeleton.  In addition, some sections of the media reported some rather questionable inclusions.

As reported by Dorset Echo, the list included a pair of donkeys:

The pair of donkeys, named Daisy and Duke, were left behind in Poole North Travelodge after being purchased locally by guests of the hotel.

The two donkeys were waiting to be transported to their new home in Kent in a horse box, when their owners left without them.

It wasn't long before the owners realised the mistake and came back for them.

As reported by ITVX, the list included a grandmother:

A grandmother who was left behind at a Travelodge hotel has made it onto the chain's list of the most unusual lost-and-found items of 2022.

A spokesperson for Travelodge said the elderly woman – called Gladys – was with three generations of her family staying overnight at the hotel in Keighley before a wedding in Manchester.

But in the morning rush to get ready her relatives managed to leave her behind.

The spokesperson said: "In all the confusion the grandsons forgot to take their beloved grandmother.

"Luckily the hotel team managed to get Gladys in a taxi and she arrived at the wedding in time for the ceremony."

911 call leads to unexpected arrest

From Florida: a man who the police had been searching for, after identifying him from security video as a burglar at a store, was arrested (along with his girlfriend) by a team responding to a 911 call in a residential area.  It turned out that they were burglarizing the house they were arrested in.  It also turned out that there was no one else in the house, and his girlfriend was the one who made the 911 call.  Why?

To quote the local sheriff:

She dialled 9-1-1, to have a deputy come there, to help them move their belongings, and take them to the airport so that they could fly back to New York.

Also to quote the sheriff:

You have to be from New York to do something like that.

Prison Break

From India: a wacky new spot for a multipurpose rust-removal and lubricating spray.

Link to video

Penile Misadventures of the Year

A short selection from the latest annual listing of “the finest groin destruction achieved in America”, compiled verbatim from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits, by that peerless chronicler of human misfortune, Barry Petchesky.

Watching football, got excited when team scored and accidentally punched self in penis

Playing with pocketknife and accidentally stabbed penis

Was unloading his dishwasher without any clothing on and he has a penis ring and the penis ring caught on the door of the dishwasher and it forcefully removed from his penis

Intoxicated and thought was applying sexual stimulant to scrotum and instead applied toilet bowl cleaner

Stuck two magnets on his foreskin unable to remove

Was walking out of his bedroom and not watching where he was going, leading to him pinching his penis between the door and his leg

Playing with a toy dinosaur and made it bite his penis

Also worth checking out is his latest listing of foreign bodies found lodged in various orifices, that needed medical attention to be retrieved. 

Gut Wellness Trends

After watching this new spot for probiotic food supplement brand Symprove, I can say one thing for sure: the people behind it have a really wild imagination.

Link to video

Much Excitement Over a Walrus

It started with the excitement of seeing a walrus emerge in the harbour of the English seaside resort of Scarborough.  That then changed to excitement over what the walrus was doing.  One of the things that stood out for me was the way in which The Daily Star covered the transformation.

At first, there was a report with this headline:

That was followed up with another report with this headline:

Also of note was the coverage by The Manc.  Its report of the episode, after the walrus had gone back to sea, lead with this line:

A slightly overweight, self-centred beast who went viral for being a w**ker this week has finally moved on from the UK – and sadly, I’m not referring to Piers Morgan.

The Sex Lives of Aussie Wildlife

A compilation of oddities by comic artist Jess Harwood, published on the website of The Guardian.

Link

Offset Your ‘Oppression Footprint’

Sweden-based NGO Civil Rights Defenders has launched a website that spotlights popular vacation destinations with a poor human rights record. What’s more, it has put up a tool that enables travellers to calculate and offset their “oppression footprint”. 

Would you buy a car via a food delivery app?

A Ford dealership in Saudi Arabia thinks its potential customers might.  At least, that’s the thrust of a recent campaign for the latest version of the Ford Territory.  To quote from a post by one of the creative people behind the campaign:

I am proud to share our latest campaign for Al Jazirah Vehicles Agencies Co. Ltd. to launch the all-new Ford Territory, and position it as an affordable SUV with competitive price. In a bold and unprecedented move, Aljazirah chose to go against traditional marketing tactics and disrupt the automotive category by collaborating with the #1 food delivery app in the kingdom, HungerStation and sell the car right there.

The Cure for Having a Teenager

Via a series of wacky radio spots, narrated by someone who- we are to assume- is a cranky German psychiatrist, Pedigree makes a hilarious case for pet adoption.  Here’s a peek:

Did you know the rational part of a teenager’s brain switches off to allow the rest of the brain to develop? That's where you're living with a total buzzkill. A droopy house plant of a human.  ‘This ice cream sucks’. ‘This holiday sucks’. Everything ‘sucks’, except for the stuff that totally ‘blows’.

You spent $10,000 on braces, and you're not even sure he'll smile again. He's too sedentary to run away. Your only option is adoption.

Link to all spots

Clinical Error in Christmas Greetings

From a BBC news report out of Yorkshire:

A GP surgery accidentally told patients they had aggressive lung cancer instead of wishing them a merry Christmas.

Askern Medical Practice sent the text message to people registered with the surgery in Doncaster on 23 December.

The first text told recipients they had "aggressive lung cancer with metastases", a type of secondary malignant growth.

However, about an hour later people received a second text telling them it was an error and it was meant to wish them a merry Christmas instead.

^{image via BBC}

Tired, in point of fact

The text of a recent letter published in The Times, UK.

Sir, Grateful as I am for the King’s supportive comments on Christmas Day, I have to say that “tireless” is not an accurate adjective for healthcare workers (“King’s speech is a gift for ‘tireless’ health workers”, news, Dec 26). We are not tireless, we are exhausted, demoralised and angry, and are fed up with working in a service that is understaffed, underfunded for what it is being asked to provide and which is being used as a whipping boy by anyone with a political axe to grind. We are tired of being expected to carry on despite this, and despite decades of real-terms pay erosion. We are also tired of being told by politicians that industrial action puts patients’ lives at risk while they refuse to acknowledge that their failure to act has resulted in a state of collapse for the NHS, which is a far greater threat to patients.

Using adjectives such as “tireless” fails to acknowledge that burnout and exhaustion are causing thousands of healthcare workers to leave, either for other jobs or for countries that value us more.
Dr Cath Livingstone
Consultant anaesthetist, Galashiels, Selkirkshire

Village with a population of 16 creates nude calendar

Excerpts from a report out of Spain, published on The Guardian website:

For decades they’ve grappled with a steady exodus as residents set their sights on jobs and opportunities beyond the southern Spanish hamlet. But the dwindling population of Peña Zafra de Abajo may have found a singular strategy to fight back – in essence stripping down to save their town.

“When I suggested the idea of a nude calendar, people said, ‘Are you crazy?’” said Lucía Nicolás, who leads the hamlet’s residents’ association. “But I saw it as a way to put ourselves on the map and show off our hamlet of 16 residents.”

The undisputed star of the calendar, however, is Pedro Sánchez. At 100 years old, the hamlet’s oldest resident graces the month of December, shirtless and smiling as he holds up a bota, or wineskin. “He was the first one to say yes,” said Nicolás.

Since its launch in October, orders for the €9 calendar have poured in from across Spain and even as far as Mexico. “We’ve sold nearly 400,” said Nicolás. “We first ordered 200 and thought we would end up giving away the extras, but madre mia, they’ve been snapped up.”

The images that make up the calendar can be seen here and here.

Bears, Bulls and Christmas

A series of Christmas-linked tweets from online investment platform eToro.

When you really hate a song…

A couple’s hate for the song ‘Last Christmas’ by Wham! has led them them to launch a fundraiser to buy the song's rights so that they can stop it from being played on air.

Excerpts from an indy100 report:

Tomas Mazetti, 55, and his wife Hannah, 33, have already raised a staggering $62,100 to banish the Christmas classic from history books.

They said they had set a goal of $15,000,000 which will take them to the next stage of negotiating with Warner Chappell Music UK.

If the dream comes true, they intend to dump the master recording in a Finnish nuclear waste site, "where it'll rest for at least two million years”.

Gifts for People You Hate

Looking for a holiday gift for someone you hate?  Los Angeles-based ad agency Unusual has set up an online store with a selection of gifts that could fit your requirement. What’s more, if you can’t think of someone to hate, the website has an ‘asshole database’- the names and addresses of well-known people and organisations that you are likely to hate.

When a ‘Mistress’ Calls

From Florida: a dominatrix has been in the news after making an appearance at a meeting of Fort Lauderdale city commissioners with a rather unusual request- for taxpayer money funding for a dungeon.  Also of note was the specific wording of that request.  To quote:

Good evening, council peoples. You may call me ‘Mistress’.

I am here standing neutral to the motion approving an agreement for the proprietary purchase of Yardways Processing and Disposal. I do, however, find it interesting that you will spend almost 1 million dollars to hide your secrets down the drain - hiding that condom I know used to cheat on your spouse with.

So, I propose that you use a quarter of that mill to support ‘doms’ and ‘subs’ in Broward County, to build a dungeon created for us by us- the taxpayers and voting citizens.

In closing, do not let this glamorous look distract you from doing your duty to take my demand.

I look forward to spanking each and every single one of you at the new esteemed dungeon. You are dismissed.

The immediate response from one of the commissioners:

Okay, thank you.  And happy holidays to you.

Link to video

Link to coverage of episode by  CNN’s Jeanne Moos

Man vs. Tree

From a tweet put out by the Ontario Provincial Police in Canada:

Man vs Tree #HuronOPP arrested a 39-yr-old Sarnia man after finding him intoxicated trying to fight a tree on William St in @SouthHuron on Dec 15th. Yes, you read that correctly. Suspect was held overnight to sober up after receiving a public intox ticket. #drinkresponsibly

Nike Waffles… that you can eat

From Japan: the ‘Waffles’ collaboration between Sacai and Nike has taken on a more literal extension- actual waffles, but shaped as footwear soles, with the Nike Swoosh.  Sacai has tied up with food collective Ghetto Gastro to offer, for a limited time, four combinations of gluten-free waffles, including one with a side of caviar.

Sexual Interest and Long Life

From the findings of a recent study out of Japan:

This study suggested that lack of sexual interest is a risk factor for all-cause mortality in Japanese males but not females. These findings suggest that maintaining sexual interest might increase longevity in males.