I Don’t Need To Know
A curious question starts off an awkward conversation between a couple about their fantasies.
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Time to correct autocorrect
It seems that 41% of names given to babies in England and Wales are unrecognized as legitimate words by Microsoft’s English (UK) dictionary. This can be especially problematic if autocorrect is enabled. And so a social collective that calls itself ‘I am not a Typo’ has decided to spotlight this issue with a campaign intended to draw the attention of tech giants.
Jon Hamm does nothing
The actor plays a version of himself in a series of amusing spots for Minute Maid.
Petition to return alligator ‘son'
It’s a petition on Change.org and it has so far amassed over 100,000 signatures. I’ll let this news report from last week explain the background:
It has been an emotional week for Tony Cavallaro of Hamburg [in New York state]. On Wednesday, the DEC [Department of Environmental Conservation] seized his alligator, Albert.
Cavallaro got Albert from a reptile show in 1990 when he was a baby and calls him a son. Now thousands have signed a petition to bring the 11-foot, 800-pound gator home.
The Hamburg resident said on Wednesday the DEC swarmed his home, with the help of police and the SPCA Serving Erie County, took his phone out of his hand, and would not let him say goodbye to Albert.
“It was really upsetting how it was handled,” said next-door neighbor Laura Lautner. “They loaded Albert on the back of a cargo van, and just laid him there.”
The Princess Sale
A promotion inspired by the Princess of Wales’ recent “experiment”. To quote:
Buy a T-shirt from the We Love NYC Collection and get a free Photoshop course.
AI-powered dog food vending machine
From Finland: an initiative by dog food brand, Hau-Hau Champion to address the matter of dog food wastage. Or, as one report calls it, “ensuring canine culinary satisfaction and minimizing food waste”.
The Dog Vending Machine incorporates state-of-the-art technology, featuring AI-powered facial recognition software and disinfectant blue light technology. Shaped like a whimsical cartoon doghouse, the machine offers dogs the opportunity to sample different dog foods before purchase, ensuring canine culinary satisfaction and minimizing food waste.
The primary motivation behind this ground-breaking initiative is to tackle the issue of food wastage in the canine culinary world. When dogs reject purchased food at home, it often leads to nearly full bags of dog food going to waste. The vending machine acts as a solution to this problem, providing a fun, safe, and practical way for dogs and owners to find the perfect match.
Feliz St. Patrick's Day
To many people, St Patrick’s Day is synonymous with drinking stout. Coffee liqueur brand Kahlua is challenging that notion with with its own black and creamy alternative: the Espresso Martini.
Poll promise: World’s largest chocolate fountain
Dubai is home to the world’s tallest skyscraper, Burj Khalifa. Nepal boasts Mount Everest. Soon, if Jeremy Rockliff gets his way, Tasmania could be home to the world’s largest chocolate fountain.
The Tasmanian premier on Sunday appeared to take inspiration from Willy Wonka by pitching himself to voters as the dreamer of dreams during a visit to the Cadbury chocolate factory – the largest in the southern hemisphere – near Hobart.
Channeling his inner Wonka, Rockliff said that if re-elected his Liberal government would deliver “the greatest thing to happen to tourism since Mona”.
What could rival the Museum of Old and New Art? The world’s largest chocolate fountain, which would “rewrite the ‘must-see’ list for every visitor that comes to Tasmania”, the premier enthused.
Hot &Toxic
A PSA that uses reality show tropes to spotlight the health and environmental risks of natural gas.
Caring for your ‘boys’
In a new spot, men’s grooming brand Manscaped makes a departure from straight talk and ball puns and instead comes up with a surreal TV-safe metaphor to get its message across.
PS: For those wanting to personalise some of that surrealism, the brand has launched an augmented reality filter on Instagram, TikTok and Snapchat, with quite an introduction by brand ambassador Pete Davidson
When beavers block the traffic
From a social media post by the police department of Bellingham in the U.S. state of Washington:
BPD officers responded to Aldrich Road this afternoon due to reports of beavers blocking traffic. Yes, *beavers*. One beaver rather quickly fled the scene when BPD showed up. The other beaver was moving at a much slower pace, possibly due to injury. (Our officers, one of whom had previously been in an unpleasant situation with a beaver, didn't want to get too close.) Knowing these weren't the usual suspects, reinforcements (Whatcom Humane Society and Washington Fish and Wildlife) were called. Before the pros could make it, the other beaver disappeared into the thick brush.
This was followed by this update:
The beaver covered some ground while on the lam! It turned back up yesterday evening near Meridian and Telegraph and proceeded to be a traffic hazard. The beaver was taken into protective custody by BPD and transported to Fish and Wildlife. Hopefully, it will get the help it needs and give up living dangerously on the streets of Bellingham.
The Godfather Pasta Sauce
It’s been the subject of much discussion ever since The Godfather was released, over fifty years ago. Now Heinz has tied up with Paramount Pictures to launch a limited-edition sauce with the same ingredients that Clemenza shared with Michael.
When a head dunk in pickle needs to be reported
The first report was by the local police department in New Jersey, under whose jurisdiction the incident happened:
Sometimes there are no appropriate words for the actions one takes. This gentleman decided to walk into Heritage’s and dunk his head in the large bin of pickles which caused the store to have to remove them for sale. We are withholding the video since he was apparently videoing the incident himself with his cell phone, probably for “likes”, and we do not want to give him more attention than he deserves. If you know who he is please call 856-881-1500 or email cbernardo@glassboropd.org.
It set into motion creatively worded news reports such as this…
A pickle prankster is in a bit of a dill-emma with the law.
…and this:
A man has found himself in quite a, um, pickle in South Jersey.
Eventually, when the police gave an update, they too got a bit creative:
We certainly relish the community's help in bringing attention to the pickle we were in yesterday when trying to identify the young man involved in the incident at the Heritage's store in town. We are happy to report that he personally called and took accountability for his actions. Going forward, we would be dillighted if other incidents, especially those of a more serious nature, get the same exposure.
Ketchup Mishaps
Heinz has launched a promotional campaign titled ‘Heinz Ketchup Insurance’ that invites customers to make a claim for relief in the event of any one of 57 creatively imagined categories of ketchup mishaps. Here’s a short selection of some of the categories:
Around The World
The claimant swings the bottle repeatedly, to push the ketchup towards the nozzle, causing the ketchup to squirt on the ceiling.
Total Bummer
The claimant unwittingly sits on a sachet of Heinz ketchup, causing it to explode beneath them.
Cupid’s Curse
The claimant’s angry lover applies Heinz ketchup to the claimant’s clothing, in an act of revenge.
Mid-Air Despair
The claimant sacrifices a sweater to enhance mediocre airplane food.
Table Tasting
The claimant eats ketchup remains off a table after an overly enthusiastic squeeze.
Heinz Sight
The claimant attempts to squeeze the bottle with a loose nozzle, causing temporary vision impairment.
Murphy’s Law
The claimant’s ketchup spill beats all the odds, and lands on the only white section of the affected object.
Red Carpet
The claimant spills ketchup and proceeds to walk in it, spreading the spill across a greater area.
The Panorama
The claimant underestimates the force inside sachet and creates a panoramic art piece inside car’s interior.
Pot Noodle wants to appease the Slurpophobes
Remember the Pot Noodle ad from last month that centered on some very unabashed slurping? Based on viewer reactions, the brand thought it fit to rework that ad and substitute the slurping sound with something that would be more widely palatable. This is how the creative agency explained the process and the result:
We used data to identify those most sensitive to the slurp, and then looked into their watching habits to understand what content they like to consume and what their niche interests are. From this, we were able to determine what sounds they'd respond positively to and tailored up to 40 different versions of our ad to target those the biggest Slurpophobes out there. From big dirty basses and giggling babes to arcade games and football commentary, there's a now a version of our ad for each of them.
I should add that at least a dozen of the versions feature sounds of animals that include a goat, an elephant, a flock of sheep, a donkey, and chattering monkeys. The complete collection can be found on the brand’s YouTube channel.
Stock Curiosity
A couple of amusing spots for investment platform Public’s AI- powered research assistant.
Rockstar Rewards
Hotel chain Artotel is promising a ‘rockstar status’ for its top-tier loyal guests which is explained as “a night on us where anything goes. Anything? Anything.” Even so, the campaign video gives a glimpse of what that means and it seems to include the option to smash things up, throw stuff out of the window, and indulge in other extreme forms of pleasure.
Medical Marijuana - Female Orgasmic Disorder as a qualifying condition
To quote from one report:
At least four U.S. states are on track to consider adding female orgasmic disorder (FOD) as a specific qualifying condition for medical marijuana, with supporters pointing to a growing body of research showing that cannabis can significantly improve orgasmic frequency, ease and satisfaction in people with FOD.