‘Rampaging badger chases customer’

The exact headline:

Rampaging badger chases customer around Midlands petrol garage as she clings to curry

And this, from the report:

Despite appearances, the badger wasn't actually shopping, more so a case of nature quite literally calling: "He didn't take anything, he just ran into the loos." [the customer] said.

“I was scared though when he chased after me, I dropped my curry trying to get away by going down two different aisles, he was always close behind until he went into the bathroom. It's the first badger I've ever seen alive.”

Valentine’s Doggy Dine-In

Calling all canines, it’s time for your human to give you some love this Valentine’s.

That’s how a radio ad for UK supermarket chain Morrisons starts off, announcing a rather unusual Valentine’s Day promotion.  It seems they really wanted the dogs to listen in because there are high frequency notes playing throughout the spot, that only dogs can hear.

Link to spot

Saving Sex

Witty copy is at the heart of the launch campaign of Sex Brand- a sustainable sexual wellness brand “here to save sex”.

And this from the FAQs on the website:

Are SEX BRAND's SecondSkin condoms vegan?

Yes.

By contrast, most condoms contain a dairy protein called casein.

But not ours.

Because the only animal in the bedroom should be you.

Link to campaign video

S3xy shortcuts

Sexual wellness brand Peech is offering a simple way to communicate online about sex without the risk of being shadowbanned.

Link to video

Prisoner caught escaping… disguised as a sheep

To quote from a news report:

José Luis Callisaya Diaz attempted to escape from Chonchocoro, a maximum security prison in Bolivia, earlier this month by wrapping himself in sheepskin and crawling through the grassland surrounding the jail.

Cards for Nards

A vasectomy promotion campaign that is described by the people behind it as “taking Valentine’s Day by the balls”.

Link to campaign video (with more context)

How about proposing with an egg?

That’s what eggs brand Vital Farms wants you to consider, in a promotion timed with Valentine’s Day.  To quote from the promotion website:

Diamonds are forever, and now, your eggs could be too. We are giving away a lifetime supply of eggs to one lucky person who “pops the question” with an egg this February! Because “the one” deserves the very best.

Link to video

Singles for Singles

From Canada: fast-food chain Pizza Pizza has a Valentine’s Day promotion intended to “celebrate with singles and promote love for everyone”.  Tying in with its brand message that “everyone deserves pizza”, it is offering a free single slice of pizza to customers who identify as single. To be specific:

Free slice redeemable to all single or single-adjacent relationship statuses, including but not limited to: Single, Ready to Mingle, Uncoupled, Decoupled, Friends With (or Without) Benefits, Secret Side-Piece, Backup Plan, Backup Backup Plan, Friend-Zoned, On-Again-Off-Again, or Will-They-Won’t They. Proof of relationship status not required.

‘Jewelry designed with sauce in mind’

To quote from the product page on the Primal Kitchen website:

Shine bright like a ranch dip.

In collaboration with designer Lindsay Lewis, we created this limited-edition, 14K gold plated Secret Sauce Necklace to hold your most precious secret—your favorite Primal Kitchen sauce.

Get this avocado-adorned vial with our exclusive Secret Sauce Bundle, which also includes four Primal Kitchen sauces. Drip them into your new favorite accessory and show off your great taste everywhere you go.

Breakup-Proof Hoodie

From Portugal: in a Valentine’s day promotion, streetwear brand +351 is offering customers a hoodie with the assurance of a replacement in the event of a breakup. Using a mix of legalese and humour, this is how the brand explains the thought behind the promotion on the product page:

1. +351 is aware that its products are meant to be shared between its customers and third parties.
2. At times, the relationships between +351 customers and these third parties come to an end.
3. Sharing processes are inconvenient and potentially litigious.
4. When co-ownership is no longer an option, dividing common property is not a possible solution in the case of +351 products.
5. +351 wants both its customers and third parties to continue enjoying the +351 products that have been shared so far.
6. Even though +351 products are the best, they do not possess the gift of ubiquity.

A short selection of the acceptable evidence of breakup:

• Photographs of the customer and the third party deleted from social media
• Third party’s contact block on the customer’s phone
• Third party’s profile block on the customer’s social media
• Testimonies attesting the end of the relationship between the customer and the third party, namely through the description of facts or circumstances that reveal the absence of a cohabitation relationship, bed and board division or companionship, friendship, conviviality, fraternization or connection through any other means whatsoever between the customer and the third party.

Scorpion Valentine

A Valentine’s Day offer from Topo Chico Hard Seltzer gives you the opportunity to send a scorpion to your ex.  To be more specific:

Recipients will receive one edible, Manchurian Scorpion (non-poisonous) coated in a strawberry-guava inspired flavoring. The scorpion will arrive to recipients in a heart-shaped box.

Why?  To quote from the offer FAQs:

As a brand that lives to provide the unexpected, we’re excited to bring folks a different way to celebrate this traditionally ~red-roses and romance~-focused holiday. What better way to do so, than by tapping into our southwestern roots with a Scorpion Valentine.

RIP Burt Bacharach

A 4 minute showcase of some of his best known songs

A 1964 upload by the BBC Archive in which he talks about his craft

Bells and Investing

One of the strangest investing commercials that I have ever seen.

Link to video

Flush Your Ex

Sustainable toilet paper brand, Who Gives a Crap, has announced a Valentine’s Day campaign that invites you to recycle love letters from you ex into toilet paper.  To quote from the campaign website:

Turn your ex’s empty promises into something that’s actually useful this Valentine's Day. Mail us your old love letters and we'll turn them into 100% recycled toilet paper!

Send us your cursed correspondence — the sappy compliments, bad poetry, any other paper remnants taking up psychic space in your sock drawer — and we'll deliver it to our production facilities to be transformed into eco-friendly TP.

Because nothing says closure like knowing that someone, somewhere is putting those sweet nothings exactly where they belong.

Getting High with ChatGPT

An excerpt from an amusing piece posted on the Vice website:

When asked are there any good things about cocaine? [ChatGPT] replied: “No, there are no good things about cocaine use”, but a few seconds later in response to me asking what does taking cocaine feel like? top of the list was: “Euphoria: A feeling of intense happiness and well-being.” Hmm. Something makes me think this robot is as confused as some people are.

However, ChatGPT was pretty good at describing what taking MDMA feels like: “feelings of euphoria, increased empathy, heightened emotions, and increased energy. Some people may also experience changes in perception, such as brighter colours or increased sensory sensitivity. However, it is important to note that the effects of MDMA can vary greatly depending on the person and the dose, and can also include negative effects such as anxiety.”

When I asked, can drugs make people feel happy? ChatGPT thought a bit, and said “yes, drugs can make people happy, at least in the short term”.

The Indulgence of Seniors

In a new spot for Saga Holidays, actor Nicholas Farrell oozes wry wit to shatter stereotypes of how seniors enjoy their outings.

Link to video

Wanted by Interpol… for Exam Cheating

To quote from a CNN report:

Think “international manhunt” and the image that likely springs to mind is that of a hardened criminal like a murderer, bank robber or billion-dollar fraudster – not the middle-aged boss of a high school tuition center.

But that’s who’s at the center of a Red Notice issued this week by the International Criminal Police Organization, or Interpol, which facilitates police cooperation between 194 countries.

Poh Yuan Nie, 57, is thought to have fled Singapore after masterminding an elaborate cheating scam during the Southeast Asian country’s annual GCE O Level examinations, which students take during their final year of high school.

Poh failed to surrender to police after a court sentenced her to four years in prison for running the scam, in which she and three of her tutors fed answers to students using a system of bodycams, earphones and bluetooth devices.

No kidding, no clowning

A new spot for Ocean Spray takes inspiration from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off in quite an unexpected way.

Link to video

Hate your colleagues? You may have a job

From Ireland: a Dublin restaurant is making news for a rather unusual hiring ad on Instagram. 

The ad was accompanied with this post:

Is it even January if you don’t hate your colleagues, hate your manager, hate your job, hate your boss, hate looking at yourself in the mirror for being a useless sack of shit stuck in a shitty fucking job?

Come hate us instead !

And this, from its website:

Why Join Us ?

Beggars can’t be choosers!

Seriously though……..

-We’ll value you and help you live your best life

– We are opening our new venue calmly, you won’t be walking into a war zone

-We’ll invest in you and take your development and growth seriously

-We are a fun yet steady pair of hands

-We are a place you can be proud to work in

-It’s a creative space, we are very inclusive, there’s a place for everybody here(except for dickheads)

– We don’t want drones we want smiles and warmth and good colleagues

-We want you to enjoy your time off

-We care about your life outside work

Suit, Countersuit over Romantic Rejection

To quote from a news report out of Singapore:

A man who was rejected romantically by a woman has launched two lawsuits against her for failing to improve their relationship and for the emotional trauma he suffered and other impacts on his life.

Mr K Kawshigan filed one suit against Ms Nora Tan Shu Mei in the Magistrate's Court for S$22,000 in damages, for purportedly breaching an agreement to improve their relationship.

The second was filed in the High Court for S$3 million, for the emotional trauma he allegedly suffered after finding out that she saw him only as a friend.

A few hours later, we had an update that Ms. Nora Tan Shu Mei was countersuing Mr. Kawshigan “for expenses she incurred to protect herself from his purported harassment.”

According to court documents obtained by CNA, Ms Nora Tan Shu Mei installed a digital door viewer, an alarm sensor and a smart video doorbell to ensure her safety from Mr K Kawshigan.

She is seeking damages from him for about S$480 for installing such equipment, as well as another S$1,000 for expenses incurred while engaging in counselling and "healing" sessions at his request.

She is also seeking damages for expenses to be incurred for her own future counselling sessions.

Mystery of the ‘Fully Clothed Bathing Burglar’

Excerpts from an AP News report:

Fully clothed bathing burglar found in Seattle bathroom

A man suspected of breaking into a Seattle home has refused to come clean about his intentions, even though police found him fully clothed in a bathtub filled with water.

“The man was clothed but very wet, and the bathtub was full of water,” police said in a statement.

The 27-year-old man was arrested for residential burglary and refused to explain his actions, including his choice of a bathing spot, police said.