Get an air purifier, rather than a dog
That’s the strange message in a bonkers spot for air purifier brand Molekule that touts the virtues of its wares compared to pet canines.
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Seniors’ care home set ablaze by 81 year old resident
To quote a news report out of Malaysia:
An 81-year-old resident at a nursing home in Kaki Bukit, Perlis, set multiple fires at the facility after staff refused to allow his 72-year-old female companion to accompany him on a hospital visit.
According to the nursing home’s management, the elderly man was scheduled to visit the central hospital to collect a hearing aid.
However, he insisted that his long-time female companion, who has lived at the facility with him since 2018, accompany him on the trip.
When staff denied the request due to the woman lacking proper documentation, the man declared, “If she doesn’t go, I won’t go either,” and abandoned the planned hospital visit.
CCTV footage revealed the man’s actions: He retrieved a container of petrol from the storage room, poured it on the kitchen storage cabinets and set them ablaze.
He then returned to his own bed area to start another fire before proceeding to the hall to set a third fire.
Spinal Tap’s ‘Relief Rider’
A new spot for pain relief brand Aspercreme serves as a delightful curtain raiser to the Spinal Tap sequel.
Bankers to the rescue
The latest in Texas-based Frost Bank’s ‘Unexpectedly True Stories’ series.
Links to videos:
Not a soft drink
From Scotland: Irn-Bru brings back its iconic tagline in a new spot anchored by a star-making performance by a Glasgow schoolboy with no prior acting experience.
Mishap Munching
From Mexico: a series of spots for Uber Eats that are inspired, we are told, by an insight into Mexican culture, where food “has the power to improve any situation”.
Links to videos:
Australia’s Deadliest Predator
A PSA that transforms an intangible threat into something that feels very real. Here’s a hint:
What is Australia’s deadliest predator? The one that hits with more than 30Gs of force, strikes in under a second, leaves catastrophic injury in its wake.
You won’t hear it. You won’t see it. Not until it’s too late. Australia’s deadliest predator isn’t found in the wild.
Bournville’s dig at dark discriminators
Cadbury UK has a new campaign that makes fun of the pretentiousness surrounding dark chocolates.
Wash Life Balance
Swedish lifestyle—and humour—take centre stage in this spot for the 900 series washing machine from Electrolux. It’s a splendid follow up to the brand’s ‘Tough Being Beautiful’ spot from a few months ago.
RIP Terence Stamp
From Christopher McQuarrie’s foreword to Rare Stamps:
Terence has a deceptive face. And while this can be said about a great many actors, the deception often masks a disappointment—a revelation that an icon is merely human or, in certain cases, even less. Terence, however, has a face that hides his true nature. It is a lion’s face—forged to communicate cool indifference. In truth, Terence is indifferent to being cool. At our first meeting, he arrived wearing shorts, a casual cotton shirt and pink rubber crocs. He was carrying several bags, having stopped to do some essential shopping on the way. My partners and I were prepared to meet Billy Budd, the Collector, the Limey, Zod—yet here we were, opposite someone who appeared to have almost forgotten the appointment. Within five minutes it became clear, however, that the aforementioned roles were mere facets of the man. He controlled the meeting from the outset—evading nothing while asking more questions than he answered. He was not auditioning for anything. We were.
A sample of the man’s own writing (and lifelong reflections):
[J]ust before I got to see the film of Priscilla for the very first time – a midnight screening at the Cannes Film Festival – I received a telephone call from the Director of Photography. He was mumbling and seemed to be apologising to me for his lighting job on my character, Bernadette, during the film.
‘You didn’t do well by me – why?’
‘It was Steph’, he explained. ‘I told him “he’s gotta face for camera. Will only need a little front light”. “No”, he said, “I don’t want him looking good.” I’m really sorry, Terence.’
So there I was, dressed to the nines for my first midnight premiere at Cannes. The lights dimmed. The curtain went up; the film began; I was about to view my creation, Bernadette, my androgynous inspiration, a woman trapped inside the body of a man.
I took a luxurious breath in anticipation of the filmic results of my emotional rollercoaster, inspired by the wonderful females who had enriched my life: Christie, Shrimpton, Mangano, Princess Diana – any and all of whom I would be happy to be in a female incarnation, but no, up there on the giant silver screen looking back at me was an old tomcat. By royal appointment of Stephan Elliott.
Vanity, thy name is Terence.
From The Limey (1999):
- ‘Tell him I'm coming!’
- ‘Bide your time’
Stress Broken
From the Philippines: a spot for pharmaceutical brand Stresstabs presents a singular, surreal vision of what a breakdown could look like.
‘A Canny Courtroom Showman in Buckskin’
Excerpts from The New York Times obit of American trial lawyer Gerry Spence:
Gerry Spence, the buckskinned legal maverick who called himself America’s best trial lawyer and dramatized that claim with a white Stetson, a dazzling courtroom record and a score of books that gunned down his opponents all over again, died on Wednesday at his home in Montecito, Calif. He was 96.
Mr. Spence often boasted that he had never lost a criminal case with a jury trial, as either a defense lawyer or a prosecutor, and that he had not lost a civil case since 1969. That was not actually true, but it was not far off. He was known to lose now and then, and several of his notable civil verdicts were overturned on appeal.
But in the tradition of Perry Mason, he seemed unbeatable…
He sometimes poked fun at his own cowboy imagery — the snakeskin boots and 10-gallon hat, the long silvery-blond hair and buckskin-fringed jackets that conjured Buffalo Bill Cody.
But he exploited it all, often in seemingly hopeless criminal cases.
A man who shot his former wife in front of eight witnesses: Not guilty. The white supremacist charged with killing a federal agent at Ruby Ridge in Idaho: Not guilty. Imelda Marcos, the widow of President Ferdinand Marcos of the Philippines, accused of looting the Philippine treasury of $200 million for a lifestyle that included thousands of pairs of shoes and real estate in Manhattan: Not guilty.
Mr. Spence was big, loud, swaggering and outrageous in court. He once clapped his hands in the face of a drowsy prosecutor and thundered, “Wake up!” He barked at judges.
In a corn-pone drawl, he once told a jury, “You’ve got to get the hogs out of the spring if you want to get the water cleared up.”
He always put on a good show, with tricks and stunts to go with the fine arts of cross-examination and jury persuasion. But behind the courtroom magic lay extensive investigations and meticulous research, techniques he detailed in books and in five-week seminars that he gave annually at the Trial Lawyers College he founded at his 220-acre ranch near Dubois, Wyo., southeast of Yellowstone National Park.
‘Appropriate embarrassment’ saves driver from criminal charge
To quote from a report out of Canada:
A driver who was pulled over while leaving an electronic music festival in B.C. was let off with a warning after he demonstrated “appropriate embarrassment” for the reason why, according to authorities.
The B.C. Highway Patrol posted a photo of the offending vehicle on social media Monday, saying the driver was “angry” when he was first stopped by police leaving Shambala last month.
However, when the officer pointed out he had a gas nozzle and hose hanging out of the side of the SUV he quickly became “apologetic.”
Spokesperson Cpl. Michael McLaughlin told CTV News, in an email, the consequences for this could have included a $109 fine under the Motor Vehicle Act, under a section that prohibits having a “sharp or ragged” projection from one’s vehicle. Refusal to return the hose could have resulted in a criminal charge for possession of stolen property, according to McLaughlin.
“In this case, the police officer was definitely on the lookout for potential impairment or distraction. However, the driver was not impaired or speeding, so when he offered to return the nozzle and felt appropriate embarrassment, the officer let him go with a warning,” McLaughlin’s statement said.
Toothpaste to make milk taste better
I’ll let this report out of Japan explain:
Japanese toothpaste brand Breath Labo and major milk brand Morinaga no Oishii Milk have teamed up to see if fresh breath can make a glass of milk taste even better.
The two companies recruited 100 people to brush their teeth with Breath Labo and then drink some Morinaga no Oishii Milk, and asked for their opinions. Of those surveyed, 78 percent said they felt brushing their teeth made the milk taste significantly richer and crisper, and a further 21 percent said that it did so to a certain extent.
Tomato Ketchup Smoothie
It’s a limited edition offering from Heinz in collaboration with Smoothie King. To quote from the press release:
While everyone knows the age-old question “is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable?” recently, thousands have started asking, “if tomatoes are a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?” Today, the global leader in ketchup, HEINZ, teams up with the world’s largest smoothie brand, Smoothie King, to go all in and settle the debate. Introducing: The HEINZ Tomato Ketchup Smoothie, the first-ever ketchup-based smoothie, which blends real fruits with HEINZ Simply Tomato Ketchup to create a delicious and refreshing summer sip.
The HEINZ Tomato Ketchup Smoothie blends sweet Acai sorbet, crisp apple juice, juicy strawberries, and tart raspberries with the unmistakable taste of HEINZ Simply Ketchup, which is all-natural and made with red ripe tomatoes full of vitamins and antioxidants. The result? A sweet and fruity smoothie with a bright, tangy ketchup finish, perfect for HEINZ and smoothie lovers alike.
As for its taste, this is what one reviewer had to say:
Having tasted and written about all sorts of odd food brand mashups and downright awful stunts, I was pleasantly surprised to be offered a refreshingly tart and slightly tangy fruit-forward smoothie. It’s red, but that’s one of its very few resemblances to drinking ketchup. The berries and açaí offer sweet, sour and earthy notes, while the Heinz adds just a hint of savory and tomato flavors, mostly noticeable on the aftertaste. Sure, ketchup may be more of a supporting player than the star, but this sauce is used to it.
Plastic Masculinity
From Denmark: a new campaign for environmental NGO Plastic Change takes inspiration from a recent study that found microplastics in penile tissue in four out of five men undergoing surgery for erectile dysfunction.
The idea, we are told, is to put pressure on the largely male delegates at the ongoing UN Global Plastics Treaty talks “to act decisively against new plastic production - by hitting them where it matters most: the physical manifestation of their masculinity”.
Arrested for ‘threats to kill following copulation with a refrigerator’
That’s from a blotter post by the Seattle Police Department—a strangely worded report, written with questionable flourish.
Police Arrest Armed Man for Threats to Kill Following Copulation with Trader Joe’s Refrigerator
Here are the cold hard facts. On a warm, August day, Seattle police officers arrested a 33-year-old man for making threats to kill with a knife following copulation with a refrigerator inside of a Trader Joe’s grocery store.
On Aug. 5 at about a 2:15 p.m., patrol officers responded to the 1700 block of East Madison Street following a report of a man using racial slurs and brandishing a knife at security. Shortly after, he also threatened to kill everyone in the store.
According to the security guard, he confronted the man for allegedly “humping” a refrigerator and attempting to do the same to a customer. When challenged, the suspect became upset and kicked a flower display. He also threw apples.
Multiple officers responded and arrested the suspect for felony Harassment. Police booked the suspect, a registered sex offender, into the King County Jail.
Then there’s this closing line:
The suspect’s life might get a lot harder if he is not allowed to come within 500 feet of a fridge.
‘Florida grown at its finest’
That’s what one observer had to say of a deputy at a local Sheriff’s office who, in the span of a few minutes, efficiently pulled an alligator out of a backyard swimming pool and buckled it in the backseat of his patrol car, ready to be relocated.
As reported by the Sheriff’s office on social media:
The alligator wasn’t happy its pool time was over or about the ride in the patrol car, but it was buckled in and safely relocated to a nearby pond by Deputy [Nathan] Richardson.
When asked about putting a seat belt on the alligator, this is what Richardson was quoted as saying:
I put everyone in a seat belt in my back seat so I felt like I should buckle the gator up too.
‘Mother Nature can be a real Mother f-’
Columbia Sportswear kicks off its new ‘Engineered for Whatever’ campaign with a bonkers spot that mixes irreverent humour with outlandish scenarios, and rips through the tropes of outdoor apparel advertising,
Singing Trouble
Excerpts from a social media post by a search and rescue non-profit that operates in parts of British Columbia, Canada:
Thursday night, COSAR [Central Okanagan Search & Rescue] responded to reports of someone yelling for help near the Boulderfields, a popular climbing spot off the Kettle Valley Railway. Two concerned hikers called 911 after hearing repeated cries.
Early responders even heard faint yelling—but couldn’t make out what was being said. Was it “help”? Or worse, Nickelback?
Then we found him: a lone camper, singing his heart out to the trees, blissfully unaware that the acoustics of the Boulderfields had turned his tent-side concert into an accidental distress signal.
“He wasn’t in trouble,” said COSAR Search Manager Duane Tresnich. “Unless you count his singing.”
And remember, our services are always free. And the money you save could be spent on singing lessons.
Malört tastes like…
The notorious wormwood-based schnapps is a challenge to drink, and its undefinable unsavoriness is an even greater challenge to communicate.
That’s from a piece in Chicago magazine a few years ago that compiled a list of things that various people had said about the taste of Jeppson’s Malört liqueur. It included noteworthy opinions such as these:
It tastes like pencil shavings and heartbreak.
It tastes like someone vomited up their gin and now you're drinking it from a shoe.
It’s like swallowing a burnt condom full of gas.
Well, the brand is now formally inviting descriptions that may well be used on its label. To set the ball rolling, it has put out a campaign with some very NSFW comparisons.
‘Like a middle finger to CO2’
Samuel L. Jackson offers his inimitable take on wind farms in a spot for energy giant, Vattenfall, that comes days after Donald Trump’s rant against “windmills.”
Chill Deodorant
Coors Light and deodorant brand Duradry have joined hands to come up with Dura Chill - a deodorant that they recommend keeping refrigerated. To quote from the press release:
Coors Light, the beer that's made to chill, is teaming up with Duradry, the sweat-fighting experts, to drop the freshest summer essential: Dura Chill, the first-ever chill deodorant with cold-activated packaging to let you know when it's ready to be applied.
Inspired by the viral trend of chilling beauty and skincare products for an extra refreshing boost, Dura Chill feels best straight from the fridge. Just like Coors Light's iconic cold-activated cans, Dura Chill features the same technology to signal chill: pop it in the fridge, and when the mountains turn blue, it's ready to deliver Rocky Mountain freshness straight to your underarms with an instant cooling effect and all-day sweat protection.
And this is how one of the people promoting the product summed it up:
Dura Chill is like giving your underarms their own ice-cold beer.