Dickpic Diagnostic
From France: men’s health association CerHom shares how it decided on a rather unusual way to get men to have a medical examination of their private parts.
Posts
Surreal Endorsements
Earlier this month, cereal brand Surreal launched this tongue-in-cheek outdoor campaign.
And then there was a fresh set of billboards, explained by this tweet:
OUR LAWYERS WROTE THESE ADS
They had some “feedback” about the last ones, so we figured we'd let them write the next ones.
As you can see, they’ve really nailed it.
The Right to be Rude
To quote from a news report:
Last week, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court decided Barron v. Kolenda, a case in which a resident of Southborough was ordered to leave a town meeting after (correctly) accusing the board of selectmen of violating open meeting laws, characterizing them as spending like “drunken sailors,” and describing one of the members as “a Hitler.” The state supreme court declared unconstitutional the town’s public comment policy, which requires remarks in public meetings to be “respectful and courteous, free of rude, personal, or slanderous remarks.” Civility, the court held, can’t be required in a public comment session of a governmental meeting.
Juicy Assertions
From Northern Ireland: a delightful series of spots for fruit drink brand Fulla Juice.
Recruiting soldiers via Pornhub
To quote from a news report about a short-lived recruitment drive by Russian mercenary group Wagner:
The video ad proclaimed: "We are the f*cking greatest private military company in the world, stop masturbating and go to the front!"
Another tagline read: “Take the other barrel in your hand.”
The mercenary group’s chief Yevgeny Prigozhin said the idea was ‘excellent’ but Porn Hub is already reported to have taken down the highly controversial ads.
‘Distracted by Diversity Demands’
Excerpt from a WSJ opinion piece on the fall of Silicon Valley Bank:
Was there regulatory failure? Perhaps. SVB was regulated like a bank but looked more like a money-market fund. Then there’s this: In its proxy statement, SVB notes that besides 91% of their board being independent and 45% women, they also have “1 Black,” “1 LGBTQ+” and “2 Veterans.” I’m not saying 12 white men would have avoided this mess, but the company may have been distracted by diversity demands.
Driving playlist… for dogs
To quote from the Škoda website:
Many dogs struggle with travelling in the car and get stressed in and around automobiles. To celebrate its sponsorship of Crufts 2023, Škoda is working with canine behavioural expert Anna Webb to help relieve this stress by creating a Spotify playlist, named Happy Hounds, specifically curated to soothe anxious dogs on car journeys.
The music on this playlist will be scientifically proven to relieve a dog’s anxiety in the car, thanks to its slow BPM (beats per minute), calming tones and repetition. It will be supported by science and Anna’s expertise after 20 years in the business.
‘Rampaging badger chases customer’
The exact headline:
Rampaging badger chases customer around Midlands petrol garage as she clings to curry
And this, from the report:
Despite appearances, the badger wasn't actually shopping, more so a case of nature quite literally calling: "He didn't take anything, he just ran into the loos." [the customer] said.
“I was scared though when he chased after me, I dropped my curry trying to get away by going down two different aisles, he was always close behind until he went into the bathroom. It's the first badger I've ever seen alive.”
Valentine’s Doggy Dine-In
Calling all canines, it’s time for your human to give you some love this Valentine’s.
That’s how a radio ad for UK supermarket chain Morrisons starts off, announcing a rather unusual Valentine’s Day promotion. It seems they really wanted the dogs to listen in because there are high frequency notes playing throughout the spot, that only dogs can hear.
Saving Sex
Witty copy is at the heart of the launch campaign of Sex Brand- a sustainable sexual wellness brand “here to save sex”.
And this from the FAQs on the website:
Are SEX BRAND's SecondSkin condoms vegan?
Yes.
By contrast, most condoms contain a dairy protein called casein.
But not ours.
Because the only animal in the bedroom should be you.
S3xy shortcuts
Sexual wellness brand Peech is offering a simple way to communicate online about sex without the risk of being shadowbanned.
Prisoner caught escaping… disguised as a sheep
To quote from a news report:
José Luis Callisaya Diaz attempted to escape from Chonchocoro, a maximum security prison in Bolivia, earlier this month by wrapping himself in sheepskin and crawling through the grassland surrounding the jail.
Cards for Nards
A vasectomy promotion campaign that is described by the people behind it as “taking Valentine’s Day by the balls”.
Link to campaign video (with more context)
How about proposing with an egg?
That’s what eggs brand Vital Farms wants you to consider, in a promotion timed with Valentine’s Day. To quote from the promotion website:
Diamonds are forever, and now, your eggs could be too. We are giving away a lifetime supply of eggs to one lucky person who “pops the question” with an egg this February! Because “the one” deserves the very best.
Singles for Singles
From Canada: fast-food chain Pizza Pizza has a Valentine’s Day promotion intended to “celebrate with singles and promote love for everyone”. Tying in with its brand message that “everyone deserves pizza”, it is offering a free single slice of pizza to customers who identify as single. To be specific:
Free slice redeemable to all single or single-adjacent relationship statuses, including but not limited to: Single, Ready to Mingle, Uncoupled, Decoupled, Friends With (or Without) Benefits, Secret Side-Piece, Backup Plan, Backup Backup Plan, Friend-Zoned, On-Again-Off-Again, or Will-They-Won’t They. Proof of relationship status not required.
‘Jewelry designed with sauce in mind’
To quote from the product page on the Primal Kitchen website:
Shine bright like a ranch dip.
In collaboration with designer Lindsay Lewis, we created this limited-edition, 14K gold plated Secret Sauce Necklace to hold your most precious secret—your favorite Primal Kitchen sauce.
Get this avocado-adorned vial with our exclusive Secret Sauce Bundle, which also includes four Primal Kitchen sauces. Drip them into your new favorite accessory and show off your great taste everywhere you go.
Breakup-Proof Hoodie
From Portugal: in a Valentine’s day promotion, streetwear brand +351 is offering customers a hoodie with the assurance of a replacement in the event of a breakup. Using a mix of legalese and humour, this is how the brand explains the thought behind the promotion on the product page:
- +351 is aware that its products are meant to be shared between its customers and third parties.
- At times, the relationships between +351 customers and these third parties come to an end.
- Sharing processes are inconvenient and potentially litigious.
- When co-ownership is no longer an option, dividing common property is not a possible solution in the case of +351 products.
- +351 wants both its customers and third parties to continue enjoying the +351 products that have been shared so far.
- Even though +351 products are the best, they do not possess the gift of ubiquity.
A short selection of the acceptable evidence of breakup:
- Photographs of the customer and the third party deleted from social media
- Third party’s contact block on the customer’s phone
- Third party’s profile block on the customer’s social media
- Testimonies attesting the end of the relationship between the customer and the third party, namely through the description of facts or circumstances that reveal the absence of a cohabitation relationship, bed and board division or companionship, friendship, conviviality, fraternization or connection through any other means whatsoever between the customer and the third party.
Scorpion Valentine
A Valentine’s Day offer from Topo Chico Hard Seltzer gives you the opportunity to send a scorpion to your ex. To be more specific:
Recipients will receive one edible, Manchurian Scorpion (non-poisonous) coated in a strawberry-guava inspired flavoring. The scorpion will arrive to recipients in a heart-shaped box.
Why? To quote from the offer FAQs:
As a brand that lives to provide the unexpected, we’re excited to bring folks a different way to celebrate this traditionally ~red-roses and romance~-focused holiday. What better way to do so, than by tapping into our southwestern roots with a Scorpion Valentine.
RIP Burt Bacharach
A 4 minute showcase of some of his best known songs
A 1964 upload by the BBC Archive in which he talks about his craft